Falling in Love

We were at church recently and as I mentioned in previous blogs, I haven't been that well. In fact, due to some sudden health scares and complications, it made me do an instant halt and re-evaluate what's really important; my health or everyone and everything else?  So for now, I chose getting healthy and it caused me to step down and take a step back from volunteering, especially at church. Which might I add was a very hard thing for me to do, because I was so dedicated and immersed in my ministry work; I was even going to the Praise School of Ministry to become a better ministry leader so when I all of a sudden couldn't do it, I just needed to accept that sometimes, stepping back and letting go is the best thing to do.

But anyway, getting back to why I originally started blogging this, my husband and I were at church when the Pastors wife came up to us and asked how I was doing?  I told her I was much better than I was the week prior and that I appreciated the support and prayers of our church family members as they really renewed my spirit.  Then  she gave me some encouraging words and turned to my husband and told him that he needs to be a leader in the household and make sure to always lead his wife to the Lord.  My husband and I looked at each other and smiled and my husband graciously told her, yes I will, but in my head, I was saying to myself, He already does that?

The thing about my husband is that he is not the type of person that so freely expresses himself that the whole world can look at him and instantly know what kind of man he is.  In all actuality, there are many layers to my husband, layers that I don't think anyone has ever really even seen or known about except for myself, him and God?  So I was thinking about what the Pastor's wife said and was just wondering why she would say that?  Was it a subliminal message saying that because I stopped volunteering that I am veering away from my faith?  Was it just words of encouragement or was it just so that she could say something inspirational to my husband?  So here I was being the thinker that I am...always thinking, thinking, thinking.....just like Winnie the Pooh, just without all the honey! LOL..that reminds me, if you ever want to know what my husband and I are like and look like....we pretty much look and act like Winnie the Pooh and piglet!...ok...getting back to what I was saying.

So here I was thinking when I had an epiphany! When people first meet my husband, they don't really like him!  It's funny, but it's true!  My husband is very stand offish and doesn't really socialize, in fact if it was up to him, he would be in and out without hesitation and back in the safety of his beloved house where his best friends the television, ipad and computer are. Naturally, this is not really a good trait to have, especially at church where everyone is so warm and welcoming so no one really knows or talks to my husband at church, accept for a select few who actually get him.  Aside from being an introvert, he is very straight forward, my husband hates dilly dallying and beating around the bush, when he needs something he will say it, when he wants something he will say it and when he has an opinion he isn't afraid to tell you regardless of what your status is, so again..reasons people don't like my husband.

But like I said in the beginning, there are layers to this magnificent man, layers that no one ever gets to see, which is why I am blogging and gushing about him so everyone can get at least a glimpse of what I see in him everyday!

I always tease my husband and say he suffers from "White Knight Syndrome." One layer of my husband is that he is chivalrous..yes that's right ladies, Chivalry still exist and I was one of the blessed ones to get him!  I have countless stories I can tell you of where my husband courageously put himself aside and helped someone in need, regardless of how big or small or even dangerous, he always tries to help in every way that he can, which is why I love him so much!  I think I mentioned some of the other stories in other blogs, if not, I should start, because he really deserves some credit, but that's another layer about him.

My husband hates the lime light, he says that when he does something, it isn't to get the credit or the glory, he does it because he WANTS to do it and he does it to serve the Lord and that isn't anything special to need recognition or anything.  Again at church, people would come up to me and make comments about how they never saw my husband in the Sunday service and he was always missing, but what they don't know, even now is that as soon as he gets to church, someone is always calling on him for assistance because he knows about networking and programming so he volunteers and helps set up the background and fix things.  He is also a Sunday School teacher and all those weeks he wasn't in the service, it was because he was helping me by teaching Sunday School classes that I wasn't able to find volunteers for.  But no one ever knows that about him, because they don't really talk to him.

Another thing about my husband is that when he loves, he does it whole heartedly!  When he met me, I was already damaged goods.  My heart was in pieces, I didn't know who I was or where I was going, but yet he still loved me and since I'm spilling all our secrets, when I get depressed, it is a very dark time in our household.  At one point when my depression was really bad, I became catatonic to the point where I just couldn't function and my husband had to dress me, feed me and put me to bed because I would just cry and cry and cry and when I wasn't crying I was just numb. Also, when I was rushed to the E.R. my husband never left my side, despite having scoliosis and a weak back, he sat next to me on a stool without any complaint for 14 hours straight because he wanted to be near me, incase anything happened.  Aside from all of this, whenever I do start going into a dark place, my husband is the ONLY one who could ever bring me back to the light.

So why am I telling you all of this, because I love him, not just for what he is or who he is, but because he first loved me and by him just loving me, he reminds me of God's love for me and how he blessed me with such a precious gift and in turn, I fall even more deeply in love with the Lord each and everyday that he blesses me with a husband who shows me kindness, patience, benevolence and above all else LOVE...isn't that what the Lord wants for us after all?  So for all you out there that sees someone in church that really isn't that approachable, maybe next time you can get to know them a little more, you never know, they just might show you how to fall in love with the Lord!....until next time

Yummy meatloaf recipe

Hello my beloved, hope your lives are happy and well?! I just made a yummy meatloaf and wanted to share the recipe before I forget what I put in it:

As you all know from my previous blogs, I don't really give precise measurements or ingredients; I guess you can say I'm somewhat of a mad scientist when it comes to cooking or baking in the kitchen? At any rate, I really should of written it down as i went, but heck I was in experimenting mode so it didn't cross my mind until now..oh well, here is more or less what I put in it:

Ingredients:

1 lb of ground beef

1/3 cup of diced white onion or more if you prefer, like I always said, just make it your own

1/3 cup Diced tomato

Little bit of diced jalapeño ( I can't have spice so I put very little, but I think next time I'll try a little more)

Cayenne  pepper

Garlic pepper

Pepper 

Garlic powder

1 egg

Bread crumbs

Serving size: 2-3

Directions: 

Pre heat oven to 350 degrees and while you are waiting for the oven to heat up, grab a bowl and put the pound of ground beef in it, along with one egg and mix it together, I find it best to mix all the ingredients by hand. next add cayenne pepper ( as much as you would like in it), along with the diced tomato, onion, jalapeño, bread crumbs and garlic pepper, again mix with hand and fold all ingredients. Then put all mixed ingredients into a bread pan or whatever oven pan you use. On a side note, I lined my pan with foil for easier clean up and even cooking. Shape your meat batter into the form of a loaf, then add your pepper and garlic powder on top. Oh wait I think once I did this step I ended up mixing those ingredients in the meat as well, so I will leave it to your own judgement on how you want to do it whether to add it with the other ingredients or just sprinkle on top. After you formed your mixed meat into a loaf, cover the top with ketchup. Make sure it's evenly spread on top. After you get your loaf to perfection, pop it into the oven for one hour. After the hour, take it out and drain all the juices that accumulate at the bottom of the pan and check if meat is fully cooked in the middle. If all is good, cool for a minute and enjoy. Or if you are like me and like to over cook to make sure your meat is actually dead, then after you drain it, pop it back into the over for another 15 minutes and voila you will have the most yummiest meatloaf!!! I couldn't stop eating it and my husband wasn't even hungry, but he inhaled his portion..the below is a picture of the finished product or at least what was left of it.....until next time my beloved

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Am I going to die???

As you know, before I started my business with my husband I worked in another job, which required a lot of extraneous physical labor from me. Although my body was getting into shape, it was also wearing and tearing my body and one of the things it did was mess up my toe!! I came home one day and took my shoes off my achy feet and when I looked down, my toenail on my left foot was black?!!! I freaked and didn't know what happened, but after gaining my composer, I remembered that I kept tripping on the sidewalks when I was making my deliveries and think that the trauma from that caused my toe to get injured? I told my managers, but they said it was all part of the job and I just needed to push through the pain and let my body get used to it. So I continued working, until I left to start my work with my husband and it's been three months later, but my toenail is still black and it's starting to cause leg pain? It hurts when I wear closed toe shoes or walk on it a lot so today, I couldn't take it anymore and I told my husband to cut it off!! I would go to the Doctors, but we don't have health insurance and considering our business is actually upside down right now, we can't really afford such a luxury as going to the doctors, so we did the next best thing and I dubbed my husband a "Doctor" for the day and told him to make my pain go away. Being the wonderful and supportive husband that he is, he put on his pretend Doctor hat and started cutting away at the dead nail and scraping out the old dry blood that apparently was the culprit for all my pain. Of course he took sanitary procedures to ensure the health and safety of preserving my toe and sterilized all his tools which was basically a nail clipper and one of those wooden toe picks that look like giant tooth picks. Then, he got rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide to kill any germs or bacteria that might have developed under my nail.

After he put the peroxide on, he said my toe started fizzing and that it was killing all the germs, then he elevated my leg and gave me a cold pack to put on my foot to help with the pain. I have to say Doctor Marko is quite good at his job, because my toe feels much better than what it did earlier although it is still sore. On the plus side, I got to eat ice cream afterwards as my reward for being good during the procedure..yay! 

I love my husband so much, because truth be told, I started freaking out and thought I was going to die?!!!!

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Russhelle

Today was a good day

Hallo! Shalom! And all those wonderful greetings to all of you friends around the world; how the heck are all of you?! As for me, I am doing great! I started training in my new job, I am happy and in a place in my life that I feel is peaceful.

The only thing that I am disappointed in myself about is that I missed church this morning; I can't believe I did that! I totally forgot about turning the clocks forward for Spring, so this morning I thought I woke up at 9 a.m. and so I didn't nag my husband to get ready or anything, because church starts at 10:45 so I figured we had plenty of time......that was until I looked at the clock on the television that said it was already going to be 11:30 a.m!! We decided to just take the day as it is and enjoy what was left of our morning because by the time we got dressed and made it to church, it would have already of been over :( besides that hiccup, we had a nice day.

My husband made me a delicious breakfast sandwich that had sausage, a slice of turkey and then grilled it with melted cheese and topped it off with a nice steaming cup of my favorite tea ( this is probably why I was in such a mellow mood in the morning). Afterwards, we watched a few episodes of some random reality tv show ( seems like that's all there is on tv now a days) then we got dressed and set out on our adventure for the day.

I told my husband I wanted to be romanced and go on an adventure with just the two of us, because I know once I start working, I'm not going to have so much free time as I do now. Sadly, the only thing he could come up with was to go get some cupcakes at this cupcake shop two cities over from us. I told him, " is that all you can come up with? I have like a dozen different adventures running through my mind just as we speak?!!" He asked me what ideas I had and I told him, we could go on adventures to see how many countries we can visit without living the state? I know we have a Mexican town, China town, Korea Town, Little Armenia, and even a Dutch town and I always wanted to just take a road trip and see all of them. The way I see it, if you fly around the world, you have to buy a plane ticket, rental car, rent a room, pay for food, etc. and in the end that will cost you what, between $5,0000 to $10,0000 or maybe more? If we just traveled to each town, which has the same culture anyway, we would only be spending what $1,000 tops? By now beloved, you all know I'm cheap, so which one would you choose?

To make a long story longer, we didn't end up doing that or the cupcake run. Instead, we used a free coupon I got in the mail for one of my favorite restaurants, then we walked and bought some cream puffs from a near by Papa Beards. Usually, I love their cream puffs, because they are so light and fluffy, but today they seemed a little dry; oh well, se la vie. After our dessert, we walked around town and found this really great shop called Ten Thousand Villages, that is a non-profit store. Apparently, from what I read, they buy handmade merchandise from people in different countries and sell them to help pay for their livelihood, like food, water, etc. they had some really cool things in there like jewelry, sculptures made out of recycled cans, etc and each item has a sticker with the location from where they are from and the name of the individual who made it. I walked around for awhile and found this really cute onyx cut elephant. It was from Pakistan, but it didn't have the name of the person that made it. I LOVE elephants and if you look inside my home, you will see that I have quite a few around my living room.

 The elephant is actually pretty small and fits in the palm of my hand and it is grey with a little but of brown, gold and white in it. I think it is so adorable and I love buying things that go to good causes, so even though I'm broke as a joke right now, I was still more than happy to indulge with this item. After walking around, we decided to walk back and somehow made our way to a clothes store (it wasn't me that lead the way, I swear....or maybe it was)? Anyway, we made it into the store and I told my husband that I wanted to look for a dress for my upcoming birthday party. For all of you that are following me already know that this is a big year for me since I'm getting closer to the top of the hill and decided to throw myself a mad hatter tea party unbirthday spectacular!! So we walked around and I found a couple of options and showed my husband and he told me I should try them on. So being the obedient wife that I am...heehee...I took the dresses and tried them on for him. The first one just didn't do it for me. The second one was alright according to my husband, but then I tried on the third one and when I walked out of the dressing room to show him, his eyes lit up and he told me, " that one is REALLY nice!" Pleased with his response I changed back into my regular clothes and brought the dresses out to give back to the store clerk. Then my husband being the spoiler that he is, told me that if I really want it, that I can put it on my credit card and that it really looked nice on me. I accepted his permission to use my credit card, because I know that it's hard finding things that fit just right on me and since the dress was less than $30, it made me happy that I wasn't splurging all that much. After dress shopping, we did a little more walking around and decided to call it a day, but remembered we had to go to the 99 cents store. For all the readers that aren't from around here, or ever heard of the 99 cents store, it is pretty much my most FAVORITE store to shop at. Here the name of the store pretty much sums it up; EVERYTHING is 99 cents!! Doesn't matter if its a pack of gum or household utensils, literally EVERYTHING is 99 cents! Well wait, actually not everything is 99 cents, it take it back. There are actually a few items that cost less than 99 cents like cups of noodles are only 29 cents and there are items you can buy 3 or 4 of them for a dollar, but nothing is over 99 cents...I love that store so much! Okay, Okay, enough praising of the 99 cents store. So we went and bought some fruits and vegetables that were too expensive to buy at the regular store, as well as some other food items to get us through the week, then we came back to our humble home and started to clean up a bit to get ready for the week. Then we sat down on our couch and spent the rest of the evening ignoring each other; oh what a glorious day! Just kidding, actually he is sitting right next to me playing video games and I am here chatting with you all, while I am waiting for my load of laundry to finish. On that note, I better get back to my wifely duties and get my husband off the video games before he turns into one of those zombie teenagers, then I will never see him again!! Until next time my beloved.........

My funny Valentine

Hallo, vie ghets? Shalom and all that great stuff! How was everyone's Valentines day? I know I'm a little late with this entry, but I got a little caught up in things, so I'm a little behind, please bear with me.

Valentines Day is suppose to be about love right? The day where your loved ones go out and do this grand gesture to show you how much they care about you so on and so forth. Well my day wasn't really about all that Hallmark Mumbo jumbo, but it was special just the same.

You see for those of you just turning in, I have been jobless for the past year and my faith and trust in The Lord has truly been tested and tried. In this past year, I had to face a lot of my demons and battle myself to find myself again. After a year of searching for a job and waiting and putting my faith in God and not myself, I finally got a positive response back from a job that I applied for with the post office. I didn't know if I would get it or not, but I sent up a quick prayer for The Lord to guide me and I applied. After I applied, I took an assessment test, and after that assessment test, I received an invite to go and take another assessment. I felt confident and again put my trust in The Lord and after the second assessment, I was told to take a drug test, after the drug test a background check was requested and after that, I FINALLY received an invitation for a group interview and when I received the letter I looked at the date it fell on and guess what day that was??!!! February 14th!! I was like what are the odds, right on Valentines day?! So as the day approached I became very nervous, because I have the habit of psyching myself out and all these thoughts ran through my mind, like " what if I'm not good enough?" What if they take one look at me and laugh?!" I forced those negative thoughts out of my head and instead turned to my support group which is made up of friends and family and asked that everyone pray for me.

The night before, I was so stressed, I made myself sick so I went to bed early. Fortunately for that, I was able to rise and shine bright and early the next day ready to take on the interview. My husband cooked me a hearty breakfast because the last group interview had me stuck there all day with no food or breaks so I got sick afterwards. Plus my husband claims it was for Valentines Day. So I got ready, ate breakfast and off we went. I got there an hour early, but decided to go in early to hopefully get it over with, but it being a group interview, I ended up standing outside for an hour until the rest of the group showed up. I didn't mind though, because I ended up making friends and talking while I waited and it seemed to take my mind off the stress of the interview. Right before we finally went inside, I heard crows flying above me in the sky and I looked up. As I looked up I said to The Lord, " Lord, look at these birds, they do not worry about what they will eat or who will feed them, yet you provide for them, please Lord provide this job for me today." As I said it, I took a deep breath and was calm, I walked in there just as me, honest and friendly as only I can be. I filled out my paperwork and a question became a great concern which was " were you ever fired or resigned from a job after being notified that you would be fired?" I of course said no, but the proctor warned us that if we lie, we can and will be terminated! So of course I became freaked out, because as for all of you that have been following me know, my last long term position had a very complicated ending?! So again, I put my trust in The Lord and wrote as honest as I could, the detailed, complicated past I had with my employer.

When it came down to interview one on one, the first question was, so what happened with your last employer? I gave it to God, explained what happened and she just thanked me for explaining it and offered me the job!!! This truly had to be of God, because it is all happening so fast! I am not officially hired though, I still have to pass my medical assessment next week and if I clear that, then they will give me a start date.

I walked out of that building not feeling ecstatic or joyous even though I was, I felt more at peace and calm, even now as I'm typing, I know I should be more excited, but I just feel completely at ease with the whole situation because I know God is in control. After the interview, we couldn't really do anything because we still had our nephew so we went home and hung out until it was time to drop him off at home. Then we went out to eat, but kind of rushed through it because it was well after 9p.m. And the restaurant was closed. After our rushed dinner, we were feeling so blessed about the job, we decided to bless someone else and went and bought candy and a bottle of wine and took it to our dearly beloved sister, then we came home because we have both become so old and my husband was crying he had aches and pains and my stomach hurt because I ate too fast. So once we got home, we both got ready for bed and then that's when things got really interesting.......we both jumped into bed and went to sleep!!!

Yup that was my Valentines Day and I truly feel special, because God was my Valentine and he gave me the most precious gift he could think of to let me know he loves me, which was a much needed and long awaited job! Hope everyone had as special of a day as I had.......Until next time my beloved.....

 

Wives vs. husbands

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Hallo! Zdrastuy!안녕하세요! And all those other greeting pleasantries; How is everyone doing today?  As for me, I'm a little stressed out and don't know if my husband is annoying me because I am so stressed out or if it's because I'm having one of those days where my blood starts boiling when I look at him?

Are you married?  If so, tell me, am I the only one that feels this way or are there a band of wives that can join forces with me in agreement? So today is an okay day so far, there really isn't anything going on, except that I have a VERY IMPORTANT group interview that I'm trying to build my self confidence up about, but other than that, there is absolutely nothing going on today.  As always we have our nephew, because we are watching him to help out with the bills and such and today before his nap, he decided to be a little stinker and throw our remote control behind the couch because we didn't want to change the channel from the movie that we were in the middle of watching to his music station so he can dance.  Of course we got mad at him and I tried sending him to his playroom, because frankly, I didn't want to deal with his terrible 2's today. But he ran right back out after me  and threw himself on the ground having a tantrum and when my husband and I ignored his inappropriate behaviour, he decided to go to the table where his juice box was and looked right at us with a mischievous look on his face and right as we yelled "NO!" He turned his juice box upside down and squeezed it onto our carpet.  Now in this situation, I of course would have immediately of got him by the hand and put him on time out, but what did my husband do?  He grabbed the juice box out of his hand, scolded him by telling him "Don't do that!" and went right back to watching t.v. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with either of them, so I let it go and our nephew sometime later fell asleep.  

After literally laying on the couch ALL morning, I decided to get off and move around so I cleaned out my closet and went to visit my cousin to see if she wanted any of my old work clothes, since I figured that I wouldn't be entering into an office job anytime soon.  When I got back, I walked in and the house was still filthy from this mornings breakfast, the chair that our nephew threw on the floor was still down, everywhere I looked it was absolutely FILTHY!!  Where was my husband?  Still on the couch playing video games!!! So I was like, WHATEVER, didn't say anything, started picking up everything, washing the dishes and so forth without a word, but then it happened....

I was almost done washing the dishes and I kept wondering why the water wasn't going down the drain right away? I figured it was because the stopper was there, so when I got down to a reasonable pile, I put my hand down there to remove the stopper, but it wasn't there?  It was to the side and there was food in the drain!!!!!  Ooooohhhhh I flipped!!!  I'm sorry, maybe I have OCD or I'm anal retentive, but with the way the house looked, our nephews earlier behaviour and watching my husband sit on the couch like everything was fine, while I play maid just made me so MAD!!!  I started nagging at him, "How many times, did I tell you NOT to throw food in the sink?!! It's not like we have a garbage disposal anymore (our old apartment had one) I'm sorry darling, but we don't have that luxury anymore and when this sink clogs, who do you think is going to be the one to have to pay for it?"  EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! HOW HARD IS IT TO PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF!!!"  All I can hear, from my husband in the other room was to "shut up" and if I "didn't have anything to say to keep my mouth shut!!" OOOOhhhh that just made my blood level go even higher up a notch. " Oh no, I have A LOT to say, which is why I'm opening my mouth! It's so easy for you to make the mess, but where are you when it's time to clean it up?  You freakin dirty the stove and just walk away and leave it, you throw food in the sink and can't throw it away, EVERY ROOM you walk into you make a mess and I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO CLEAN IT UP!!  I feel sorry for when I get a job, because apparently I have to work all day and then come home and clean?  My husbands sarcastic response, " yes that's exactly what is going to happen," and for every nagging comment I made afterwards, his response was, "Shut up!"

I swear sometimes, I want to take all of our electronic devices outside into a field and beat them with a baseball bat, but then I come back to reality and realize that if I didn't have my computer, I wouldn't get to talk to you all every night!  Siiiggggghhhh, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only wife out there with this problem, I mean don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful husband who cooks me breakfast and stuff, but when it comes to helping clean up the mess, or set up house or anything, all of a sudden he's lost in video games, T.V. and the Internet!!  Aarrrrrrgggghhh, don't mind me, I'm just venting, I actually locked myself in our room with the excuse that I'm blogging you all, because I swear if I go out there and take another look around, I'm probably going to flip out again!!  It makes me mad to think that I have to nag in order to get anything done or yell and scream to get his attention and then our husbands get mad at us for nagging and screaming at them all the time?!  I'm sorry, but when I got married, I wanted to be his wife, not his mother!!  But I guess that's marriage huh? When men look for their mates, they are actually looking for someone to take their mother's place (psychology 101).  So who's going to win the messy house battle and clean it up? Guess we will have to find out next time, because I just heard him and our nephew put a chair up against the door with my husband telling our nephew, "There, so the crazy monster doesn't escape!"  Gotta admit, it made me laugh, so I guess he's forgiven and at that I bid you all A Dieu.......