The Good Wife

Have a long day at work from 9 a.m. To 5 p.m.....check, come home wash the car.....check.....feed the pets..check....wash the dishes...check......make dinner...check..clean the house...check....do some laundry..double check!!! Who says wives sit around doing nothing all day??!! 

Also for those wives who just work all day and expect everything to be done for them when they get home....ok I get you, you work hard and when you come home, you just want to sit back, relax and have a beer to unwind from the day, but come on...who are we kidding.....our husbands already do that so if we don't get in gear, our homes will become nothing more than a giant pile of crap!! 

Haha.....don't mind me, I'm just taking a break and trying to convince myself that all my efforts are worth while.....teehee.....okay breaks over...until next time my beloved...

I gotta see a man about a horse

Hello friends, how are you today?  I was blessed enough to get the day off from work and thought I should drop in and let you all know what the hell has been happening to me lately.  As you can see from my first sentence, I am still working; YAY! But yesterday, I felt like dropping everything and running for the hills!!!!

It was just a BAD day for me, which is why I think they gave me the day off?  I think they are trying to figure out if I'm going to still cut it or not?  The day before, I did alright; at least that's what I think? Yesterday though, it felt like it was my first day all over again.  I was already in a foul mood because the night before I had an "episode" and didn't really sleep well and then in the morning, I was loading up my truck with everything I was suppose to deliver for that day and I went up this little slope to get to my truck and BLAM!!  Everything fell over and scattered all over the parking lot!! So aside from being tired and achy from the previous day, I was freaking out over what just occurred! My supervisor was gracious with me and told me to relax and just start my route, but I still couldn't believe I did that?! Then I put the address in my GPS for the first delivery, but I put the wrong address and it led me somewhere else and I had to figure out how to get back on track. Once I started my deliveries, it got a little better, but I couldn't move as fast as before, because one, my body is still sore and two, I had to deliver extra things on top of the regular deliveries and that slowed me down a great deal more.  Then my scanner that I use to confirm that packages were delivered and track where I was, kept shutting down and I kept having to restart and wait for it to reload itself, which I felt took another eternity for me.  So on top of being tired, achy, weighed down and behind in my work, I was frustrated with all the little extra things that were happening to me, like the stupid wind that kept trying to blow everything out of my arms and finding where to deliver and it was in the 80's yesterday, which made it even MORE arduous for me!!  I just wanted the day to be over so bad!! Towards the middle, I felt like just abandoning ship, dropping everything and just telling them I QUIT!!  But instead, I sucked it up, called for back up and freaked out when my back up came and I realized how behind I actually was! When I got back to the office, I was comforted by my co-workers who informed me that EVERYONE has had one of those days and even shared their stories with me and were very understanding.  So I know I sucked yesterday, but that just means I could only get better right?  Truth be told, I don't know yet because they gave me the day off...teeheeehee...but tomorrow is still another day.........Until next time!

I'm just so sad

I feel like I'm stuck! Hello my beloved friends around the world, how have you been? As for me, I've been working. To be honest with you, I am truly grateful for my new job, but am quickly finding that I doubt I'm going to last very long at it? First off, it is VERY physically demanding and the wear and tear its doing to my body is agonizing! Secondly, it has to do with speed and accuracy and although I'm fine with that, the pressure of everything combined with the pressure of "am I going to make probation?" Is absolutely terrorizing! I find myself waking up feeling sick to my stomach, my hands clammy and in a cold sweat just thinking about the beating I'm going to get for the day. To make things worse, yesterday I was monitored by practically every person in upper management and today when I called for my clock in time, they told me NOT to come in today?

To be honest, I'm relieved to get the day off because EVERYTHING hurts and I had a nervous breakdown last night, so I kind of need a day to regain my composure. What cause the nervous breakdown you ask?

Lately, to relax, I've been playing this online game called Candy Crush; I don't know if you ever played it, but it's like a puzzle game, where you match different colors to get high scores or unlock things. So I've been playing it to take my mind off of things and last night I was playing a level where you had to bring down "ingredients," like cherries or nuts and get a certain score in the game to win, but the only thing is that you only have so many moves to do it in. I managed to get all but one ingredient down and get the high score, but I ran out of moves and lost the game. That's when I lost it! I know something so trivial can make it sound so pathetic of me, but that's the honest truth; I cried over a lost game. Well actually, it wasn't because I lost the game, but because I felt like that ONE game just about summed up my entire life. In fact, I even said, "story of my life," right before I broke down. I just feel like everything is at my fingertips and just when I get close enough to win, I get stuck and " run out of moves and lose." It's like no matter how hard I try, NOTHING ever turns out in my favor. I worked so hard in my last job and all it got me was pain and heartache, I spent the last year on a roller coaster ride feeling so inadequate and now that I have a job, I feel like it's slipping through my fingers because once again I feel inadequate. I just feel so sad!! I spent the majority of last night crying and I think I've cried more this past month than I have last year! I'm just so tired of feeling worthless and not good enough and like im never going to make it. Well that's it for now I guess, until next time......

Story of my life

Today I got into the car after work so that my husband and I could go to the store and my husband pointed out to me that a bird had apparently pooped on me and without even thinking, I responded with " yeah that sounds about right, just like life has already done!" He started laughing and I just looked at m for a second like, " what are you laughing at?"

That's how I've been feeling lately; I feel like I'm in a valley right now and no matter how hard I try to push up the hill to get to the top, something always seems to come at me, pushing me back down. As you know I recently got a new job...yay! The only thing is that I didn't realize how complex it is?! Scan this, scan that, enter this, sort this, bundle that, load, drive, you have two hours to finish this load, then back again and start over. My head is still spinning from all the new information I have to obtain.

I know I have only officially been there a week, but today all I wanted to do was cry! I went on my route to deliver and I couldn't find parking so I parked almost at the top of the hill and walked to the first house at the bottom and it wasn't until then that I remembered that I forgot what I was suppose to start delivering in my vehicle, so I had to run alllllll the way back to my vehicle, grab my delivery and run back to the starting point. By this point the day started getting warmer and I had two huge boxes to deliver and it was just my luck that it was the last apartment at the end of the block...sigh and let's just say that set the precedence for the rest of the day. Everyone at work is really nice and supportive and tell me that it will get easier and better and I guess I just need to cut myself some slack.

Aside from the excitement of my new job, I am also going through some other personal tngs that I'd rather not talk about out loud, but nevertheless, it is making me feel frustrated and like all my husband and I are being, is pushed around and put in limbo. Siiighhhh, I know that this is just a storm and all I need to do is get though it and wait for it to pass, but how many of these storms do I need to go through, until I start to see some sunshine?

I work six days a week and get to have Sunday off, but at this rate is it worth it? I mean don't get me wrong, I am VERY appreciative of this new job opportunity and for my employer taking the chance on me, but to live to work, instead of working to live? I've been there done that and was " married" to. Y last job, where I worked and let it consume me seven days a week and I did that for five years and what did I get in the end? Nothing except rejection, humiliated and deeply crushed. My new employer doesn't seem like the type that would do that to me and actually are making me feel comfortable, it i still have my 90 day probation and with the day I had, will I even make it that far? Until next time.......

Out before I'm even in??!!!!

Hello my beloved friends around the world!!! Wie Ghet es ihnen? Здравствуйте, Доброе утро, Добрый день, Добрый вечер, 환영합니다?! As you know I got a new job after being unemployed this past year and I was so excited to jump back into the working class; that was until I got there?!

I wanted to show my new employer that jam not only dependable, but also diligent, so I went into work practically an hour early. When I came in I asked for the supervisor and one of the employees told me to look for a certain person, but for legal rights, lets just call him Lance. So I started walking towards the description of the person, but then another person said, "I'm lance!" Then another person yelled out "No, I'm lance!" So for the first minute of my official day in the office, I went on a wild goose chase trying to find out who the real Lance was?! I finally found him and he told me to wait in the office for him, so I obliged and then he and another supervisor had a meeting with me on what to expect and what is expected of me. Truth be told, I was very impressed with their office ethics and strategy and told them I would try my best to make them proud of hiring me. I was then introduced to my in the job trainer ( let's call him Randy; only because I think that is the funniest of all names and it makes me laugh when I say it.....no offense to Randy's in the world, but I always exaggerate the way I say it like this," RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDee)! Anyway, that's another blog story I guess, so back to this story.

Randy took me on a quick tour around the office and what I was going to need once we got out in the street. Once we were about to leave, an old retired employee walked through the door and so Randy stopped to catch up with him for a minute. As I waited for him to finish chatting, another older employee who was standing near the exit door called me over and told me in a low, sincere voice, " you should just quit this job right now, because you are a woman and this job isn't for women." I chuckled, because I really didn't know how to take the news I just heard and politely just told him, " we'll see?" He insisted thought that I quit, because I would be doing a lot of walking in the sun and the days are getting older and then it's going to rain and blah blahblahblahblahblaaaah. And I just repeated, " ok, we will see" he waved off my come back and walked out the door. I just laughed to myself, because in what country or century does this guy think we live in that a woman can't work just as hard as men can? Truth be told, he wasn't kidding about the weather; it was hot! The bad thing was that I was driving around in a sardine can ( not really, just metaphorically speaking) and the vehicle had no air conditioning. I used rough it though and I think I did fairly well for my first day out, so take that old man!

The job isn't hard, but there is just waaaaaaAyyyyyy tooooo much information for one person to learn in one day; hopefully I can absorb it more tomorrow....until next time!

Where have I been?

Hello my wonderful friends around the world! Sorry it's been awhile since we last spoke, but I've been so busy this month!! For one I started my new job; YAY! My first day was Monday and I gotta say it was a pretty awesome day! I had to be at the training site at 7:00a.m. So I woke up at 4:30 ( haven't done that in awhile) and was out of my house by 5:45a.m. I was so worried because according to my husband I have no sense of direction ( woman driver, blah blah) and I always get lost. He was originally suppose to drive me the 40 miles,  but he is continuing to care for our nephew so we agreed it would be easier if I just rove myself. So off I went with my GPS in hand and ready to launch out on my new adventure, when all of a sudden I had to make an abrupt stop, about face and head back to my house because I forgot the car keys in the house and to top it off I locked the door from the inside before I went to the car, so there I was banging in the washroom for my husband to come open the front door and give me the keys ( hope I didn't wake the neighbors)?! Once I was back on track, I headed towards my destination and only had to turn around once, because I missed my turn to change freeways and had to get off and turn around again. Thankfully I made it to the training site with time to spare and I had a wonderful first day!

My trainer looked and acted like George Lopez ( for those of you who don't know him, he's a Latino comedian actor) so my day was spent mostly smiling and laughing. After training I came straight home without any delays and I patted myself on the back for finding my own way home without any help :D I'm a little worried though because they are saying if we can't cut it, then they are letting us go and I just hope I can keep up?! I'm putting my faith in The Lord though, because he got me this far and I am trusting he will give me the strength to do what I need to do.

Another reason why I am so busy is because this is actually my birthday month!!!! Hip, hip Hurray I'm turning into an old fart! Well almost anyway; I'm turning 30, but I feel more like 50; hopefully this new job will whip  me into shape with all the walking and lifting I will be doing?

Since this is such a milestone birthday, I decided to go crazy and throw myself a birthday party to celebrate. The theme is "Mad Hatter wonderland tea party," I don't know how I'm going to decorate or anything, but I know we are still tight with money so I'm baking my own birthday cake and also having a birthday cake bake off challenge so I can have lots of desserts and birthday cakes with having to spend hundreds of dollars. My total budget I am giving myself is $200 that's with a cushion, so lets see if I make it below budget and still have an awesome birthday party. Well I gotta get back to all my planning; wish me luck!...... Until Next time my beloved

My funny Valentine

Hallo, vie ghets? Shalom and all that great stuff! How was everyone's Valentines day? I know I'm a little late with this entry, but I got a little caught up in things, so I'm a little behind, please bear with me.

Valentines Day is suppose to be about love right? The day where your loved ones go out and do this grand gesture to show you how much they care about you so on and so forth. Well my day wasn't really about all that Hallmark Mumbo jumbo, but it was special just the same.

You see for those of you just turning in, I have been jobless for the past year and my faith and trust in The Lord has truly been tested and tried. In this past year, I had to face a lot of my demons and battle myself to find myself again. After a year of searching for a job and waiting and putting my faith in God and not myself, I finally got a positive response back from a job that I applied for with the post office. I didn't know if I would get it or not, but I sent up a quick prayer for The Lord to guide me and I applied. After I applied, I took an assessment test, and after that assessment test, I received an invite to go and take another assessment. I felt confident and again put my trust in The Lord and after the second assessment, I was told to take a drug test, after the drug test a background check was requested and after that, I FINALLY received an invitation for a group interview and when I received the letter I looked at the date it fell on and guess what day that was??!!! February 14th!! I was like what are the odds, right on Valentines day?! So as the day approached I became very nervous, because I have the habit of psyching myself out and all these thoughts ran through my mind, like " what if I'm not good enough?" What if they take one look at me and laugh?!" I forced those negative thoughts out of my head and instead turned to my support group which is made up of friends and family and asked that everyone pray for me.

The night before, I was so stressed, I made myself sick so I went to bed early. Fortunately for that, I was able to rise and shine bright and early the next day ready to take on the interview. My husband cooked me a hearty breakfast because the last group interview had me stuck there all day with no food or breaks so I got sick afterwards. Plus my husband claims it was for Valentines Day. So I got ready, ate breakfast and off we went. I got there an hour early, but decided to go in early to hopefully get it over with, but it being a group interview, I ended up standing outside for an hour until the rest of the group showed up. I didn't mind though, because I ended up making friends and talking while I waited and it seemed to take my mind off the stress of the interview. Right before we finally went inside, I heard crows flying above me in the sky and I looked up. As I looked up I said to The Lord, " Lord, look at these birds, they do not worry about what they will eat or who will feed them, yet you provide for them, please Lord provide this job for me today." As I said it, I took a deep breath and was calm, I walked in there just as me, honest and friendly as only I can be. I filled out my paperwork and a question became a great concern which was " were you ever fired or resigned from a job after being notified that you would be fired?" I of course said no, but the proctor warned us that if we lie, we can and will be terminated! So of course I became freaked out, because as for all of you that have been following me know, my last long term position had a very complicated ending?! So again, I put my trust in The Lord and wrote as honest as I could, the detailed, complicated past I had with my employer.

When it came down to interview one on one, the first question was, so what happened with your last employer? I gave it to God, explained what happened and she just thanked me for explaining it and offered me the job!!! This truly had to be of God, because it is all happening so fast! I am not officially hired though, I still have to pass my medical assessment next week and if I clear that, then they will give me a start date.

I walked out of that building not feeling ecstatic or joyous even though I was, I felt more at peace and calm, even now as I'm typing, I know I should be more excited, but I just feel completely at ease with the whole situation because I know God is in control. After the interview, we couldn't really do anything because we still had our nephew so we went home and hung out until it was time to drop him off at home. Then we went out to eat, but kind of rushed through it because it was well after 9p.m. And the restaurant was closed. After our rushed dinner, we were feeling so blessed about the job, we decided to bless someone else and went and bought candy and a bottle of wine and took it to our dearly beloved sister, then we came home because we have both become so old and my husband was crying he had aches and pains and my stomach hurt because I ate too fast. So once we got home, we both got ready for bed and then that's when things got really interesting.......we both jumped into bed and went to sleep!!!

Yup that was my Valentines Day and I truly feel special, because God was my Valentine and he gave me the most precious gift he could think of to let me know he loves me, which was a much needed and long awaited job! Hope everyone had as special of a day as I had.......Until next time my beloved.....