Gas is a Natural Thing!

I was recently on facebook when I came across the funniest meme and it reminded me of two stories that I would like to share with all of you beloved. The meme went like this:

One day I had to fart really bad, but I was in the middle of class, so I got the idea that if I drop my book and fart at the same time, no one would notice.  So I dropped my book on the ground and everyone looked at me and then I farted really loud.

Did you laugh?  I know I did and I needed to.  Lately, I've been feeling like I'm in a trance and I just can't get out of it, but I read that and it made me laugh and I thought I would share.  But it reminded me of this one time when I was in Junior High School and right in the middle of class, one of my classmates just let one rip REALLY LOUD and everyone took a moment in silence and disbelief, but when we seen how red his face was, we all busted out laughing so hard!! Luckily, we were in science class and the teacher took the opportunity to teach us about how natural flatulence is and so on and so forth.  I can't believe I remember that one moment in time, that must of been really important if I remembered it more than 15 years later.

10 years later when I was grown and in the business world, I was sitting in a meeting in a circle, really close to my co-workers.  I knew I shouldn't of had that ice cream for desert at lunch, because I'm lactose intolerant, but I didn't know we were going to have a meeting so I took the chance.  As I'm pretty sure you realized where this story is heading, my stomache started feeling funny and making weird noises, but I couldn't do anything about it, because the more I tried to squeeze it in, the worse it got and well.....yeah  It was a loud one.  Luckily, my co-workers were respectful enough to pretend it didn't happen....but boy was my face red!!!  But hey..Flatulence is a natural thing!!!......Hopefully, this brought atleast a smile to your face today...Until next time my friends because my stomache is starting to make funny noises....

The joys of having children

Given I don't have children of my own...yet....I thought I'd share this silly story.

I was feeling pretty grumpy and inconvenienced earlier and really wasn't in the mood for anything, but we picked up our two year old nephew so he could spend the night at our house and we were on our way home, when he saw McDonalds. Like all American toddlers, he recognized the arches and got really excited, "DONALD'S!!!!!!! DONALD'S!!!!!!" Since we still needed to feed him dinner, we stopped, but went through the drive thru since it was late. 

He was so excited and we got to the first window and paid and started driving to the second window, when he became nervous and his eyes got really big and concerned and he started asking, " fries??!!!" Fries??!!!" 

So I had to explain to him that we paid in 

the first window and now we have to drive to the second window to get the food and he still seemed confused so he asked, "why?" So I told him, "because they don't want to mix the food with the money because that's just unsanitary," so again he asked, "why?!" So I told him, "because it's easier that way" and he asked, "why?" By now I figured he was just messing with me so I told him, it's so traffic can flow faster and the cars can just drive through and yet again he asked, "why?" So by now I had no more answers to give and I just said, " because!" At which he replied, "why?" So again I said , "because" at which he replied, "why?" And we went on like this for about a minute, until he got confused as to who was saying why and who was saying cause? Hahaha, the whole time my husband was laughing at us from the front seat and telling me, he never thought he would ever hear that conversation?! We all laughed and in that instant, my whole mood changed to nothing but joy. It's crazy how a child changes everything.....until next time


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Am I going to die???

As you know, before I started my business with my husband I worked in another job, which required a lot of extraneous physical labor from me. Although my body was getting into shape, it was also wearing and tearing my body and one of the things it did was mess up my toe!! I came home one day and took my shoes off my achy feet and when I looked down, my toenail on my left foot was black?!!! I freaked and didn't know what happened, but after gaining my composer, I remembered that I kept tripping on the sidewalks when I was making my deliveries and think that the trauma from that caused my toe to get injured? I told my managers, but they said it was all part of the job and I just needed to push through the pain and let my body get used to it. So I continued working, until I left to start my work with my husband and it's been three months later, but my toenail is still black and it's starting to cause leg pain? It hurts when I wear closed toe shoes or walk on it a lot so today, I couldn't take it anymore and I told my husband to cut it off!! I would go to the Doctors, but we don't have health insurance and considering our business is actually upside down right now, we can't really afford such a luxury as going to the doctors, so we did the next best thing and I dubbed my husband a "Doctor" for the day and told him to make my pain go away. Being the wonderful and supportive husband that he is, he put on his pretend Doctor hat and started cutting away at the dead nail and scraping out the old dry blood that apparently was the culprit for all my pain. Of course he took sanitary procedures to ensure the health and safety of preserving my toe and sterilized all his tools which was basically a nail clipper and one of those wooden toe picks that look like giant tooth picks. Then, he got rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide to kill any germs or bacteria that might have developed under my nail.

After he put the peroxide on, he said my toe started fizzing and that it was killing all the germs, then he elevated my leg and gave me a cold pack to put on my foot to help with the pain. I have to say Doctor Marko is quite good at his job, because my toe feels much better than what it did earlier although it is still sore. On the plus side, I got to eat ice cream afterwards as my reward for being good during the procedure..yay! 

I love my husband so much, because truth be told, I started freaking out and thought I was going to die?!!!!

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Russhelle

The perfect anniversary!!

Hello beloved, welcome back to my blog! I know it's been awhile since I wrote to you all, sorry for going M.I.A I have just been soooooo busy lately, I barely have a moment to catch my breath!!

Lets see what have I been up to? As I probably mentioned in a previous blog at some point, my husband and I started a company together and have been working towards building that up from nothing and I have to say....it IS taking some work so I will keep you all posted on that at another time, another blog! In the mean time, I have been doing a lot of volunteer work at my church and there have been a million and one events going on the last couple of months with weddings, birthdays, showers, etc....it's been so crazy!! But again that's another blog; tonight I want to tell you all about my wonderful anniversary that I had with my sweetheart recently! Are you all tucked in and ready for our bedtime story? Okay my beloved here goes:

It was ten years ago that I met and fell in love with my soulmate. I would tell you the story, but I already did in my earlier blogs so if you want the details I suggest you start there. Fast forward after that fateful night in 2003 where our hearts and eyes met,we are still going strong and even more in love than ever! 

A week or so before our special day, I asked my husband what we were going to do? Can you believe he had the audacity to sit beside me and say point blankly, " nothing!" Oh my goodness you should of seen how upset I got?! " how can you say nothing?!" I responded, " do you know how long we've been married? TEN YEARS!!! Some couples can't even last seven years...shoot Kim kardashian couldn't even last three months!!" "72 hours," is what my husband came back with, " what?!" I said, "Kim kardashian was married for like 72 hours." "No, she's still married, they didn't give her a divorce, she's still fighting it,  thats besides the point, we have been married for a whole decade and.... My husband cuts me off and asks " what's a decade?" " that's 10 years." " are you sure, are you sure, then what's a century?" " a century is like 100 years right?" No America has been around for a hundred years though; isnt that a millennium?" No, what's mil in Spanish? 1000...there you go then, stop changing the subject..how can you do this to me, we've been married for ten years that is BIG!! We need to do something special!!" We went on like this for the rest of the week or so, but then in the end, my husband really pulled out all the stops to make this anniversary special!

First we took two days off from business and just focused on "us time." On the first day which was our actual anniversary we went to the movies and watched " this is the end," starring Seth Rogen, James Franco, Jonah Hill, etc.....we really enjoyed it although I felt they kinda cursed a little too much for my taste? Afterwards we went home and rested a bit before heading downtown to the actual theatre and saw a musical play called " the scottsboro boys," it's the true story circa 1930s Alabama where 9 colored men were falsely accused of raping two white women and it gave us the story of what they went through during their trials....surprisingly, despite the history of the story, it was a comedy and I felt that it was very well written and everyone should see it if they could. Afterwards, it was late at night and we were starving, so we had a nice, sweet dinner at IHOP. 

The following day, we went to the movies once again and this time saw " man of steel," to be honest my husband LOVED it, but I felt like I've seen it all before in marvels other movies (I.e. Thor, avengers, etc.) but it was okay I guess? Afterwards we went to Disneyland and spent the entire night running around the park with my sister and her three daughters and had the time of our lives! The next day after that, we spent a quite day at home and then when the day cooled down a bit, we went to this old fashioned ice cream parlor called Fosselmans where they make home made ice cream like they did back in 1919 and it's a family owned business. We got their salty caramel and English toffee nut ice cream and I was in absolute heaven!!! Although, I think it went straight to my hips so I'm not feeling all that great about it anymore. Now we are back home, enjoying each other, but in our separate corners. Sigh, these past three days have been heavenly and I know to some, it really doesn't sound like much, but considering what big movie and theatre buffs my husband and I are, I'd say it was actually quite perfect and I wish it didn't have to end!!.....until next time



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Russhelle

I'm so over it

Lately I feel like people are really hating on me??!!!! I really don't understand why though, I've done absolutely NOTHING, but be kind and generous, yet I'm still a stupid B**** according to one of my haters? I really don't get it, but I think I'm so much stronger from it. If this was a couple of years back, I probably would of fallen to pieces and asked WHY?!! WHY ME??!!!!! You know with tears and mocos running down my face and all, but I think after everything that this life has thrown at me, I just accept it now.

People are going to hate on you no matter what, all we can do in return is keep being ourselves, living our lives and ignoring all of their bulls***, because truth be told, if they have the gulls to talk about you, it's because we affected their lives, but that doesn't mean they need to be affecting ours, so go ahead haters and hate, all that you are doing is polishing me to be more beautiful and strong in the end...all the while you'll be getting older and uglier! HA....what a thought huh, yet it's true! Until next time......

Life's haha moments

Me all morning: where the heck is my cell phone?

When my 22 month old nephew wakes up from his nap...

Me: Nephew where did you put aunties phone?!!!

Nephew: puts his hands up like I don't know? Thinks about it and points under the couch and says " there!"

Me: looks under the couch but doesn't see anything??? No, Nephew it's not there you liar! So I start looking everywhere else....Nephew where's my phone help me find it?!!

Nephew: still persist its under the couch

Finally I get frustrated and use my iPad to call it and lo and behold, where did my phone end up being????....... Under the couch!!! Boy is my face red :p

Out before I'm even in??!!!!

Hello my beloved friends around the world!!! Wie Ghet es ihnen? Здравствуйте, Доброе утро, Добрый день, Добрый вечер, 환영합니다?! As you know I got a new job after being unemployed this past year and I was so excited to jump back into the working class; that was until I got there?!

I wanted to show my new employer that jam not only dependable, but also diligent, so I went into work practically an hour early. When I came in I asked for the supervisor and one of the employees told me to look for a certain person, but for legal rights, lets just call him Lance. So I started walking towards the description of the person, but then another person said, "I'm lance!" Then another person yelled out "No, I'm lance!" So for the first minute of my official day in the office, I went on a wild goose chase trying to find out who the real Lance was?! I finally found him and he told me to wait in the office for him, so I obliged and then he and another supervisor had a meeting with me on what to expect and what is expected of me. Truth be told, I was very impressed with their office ethics and strategy and told them I would try my best to make them proud of hiring me. I was then introduced to my in the job trainer ( let's call him Randy; only because I think that is the funniest of all names and it makes me laugh when I say it.....no offense to Randy's in the world, but I always exaggerate the way I say it like this," RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDee)! Anyway, that's another blog story I guess, so back to this story.

Randy took me on a quick tour around the office and what I was going to need once we got out in the street. Once we were about to leave, an old retired employee walked through the door and so Randy stopped to catch up with him for a minute. As I waited for him to finish chatting, another older employee who was standing near the exit door called me over and told me in a low, sincere voice, " you should just quit this job right now, because you are a woman and this job isn't for women." I chuckled, because I really didn't know how to take the news I just heard and politely just told him, " we'll see?" He insisted thought that I quit, because I would be doing a lot of walking in the sun and the days are getting older and then it's going to rain and blah blahblahblahblahblaaaah. And I just repeated, " ok, we will see" he waved off my come back and walked out the door. I just laughed to myself, because in what country or century does this guy think we live in that a woman can't work just as hard as men can? Truth be told, he wasn't kidding about the weather; it was hot! The bad thing was that I was driving around in a sardine can ( not really, just metaphorically speaking) and the vehicle had no air conditioning. I used rough it though and I think I did fairly well for my first day out, so take that old man!

The job isn't hard, but there is just waaaaaaAyyyyyy tooooo much information for one person to learn in one day; hopefully I can absorb it more tomorrow....until next time!

Why did I do that?

Okay there are two things that made me say this yesterday and I thought I should share. First off, I actually wrote this blog yesterday and it was totally awesome, but genius me decided to add a picture at the end and when I went to my photo album to add the picture, I guess it exited me out of the website so I lost everything I wrote!! Arrrrgggghhhh, why didn't I save first??!!! Oh that reminds me, I better save this before I lose this blog too! Whew, okay I think I'm okay now, so on to the second reason why I would say," why would I do that?"

Yesterday I got bored (which pretty much sets the precedence of what's to come, because if you follow me, then you know that anytime I get bored, I usually do something I really shouldn't do, like cut all my hair off or something of that nature). Anyway, getting back to the story, my husband and I got home yesterday and decided to wind down, so my husband started playing his video games and I was pretty out of it because I was doing my training on an obstacle course out in the desert where it was like 100 degrees for work and got heat exhaustion so I didn't care. But after an hour or so of just sitting on the couch waiting for my husband to get off his video games, I got bored and started listening to the voices in my head which said, " you know what would be AWESOME? If you drew a mustache on your refrigerator!" So me being the free spirited, creative person that I am said, " you know what? That WOULD be AWESOME!!" So off I went in search of some markers.

I found my old dry erase markers that I use to use in my old job and figured it would be safe to use and easy to remove afterwards. Just to be on the safe side, I even made a mark and easily removed it from a small corner of the fridge so I said "Cool!" And from there I drew a HUGE mustache across the bottom half of my refrigerator. I was so pleased with myself that I even caught the attention of my husband who was still playing his video games, but took a moment to find out what I was so happy about? I showed him what I did and he half heartedly laughed and told me to take it off. Even though I had fun drawing on my refrigerator, I obeyed my husband and proceeded to remove the drawing, the only problem with that was that it DIDN'T WANT TO COME OFF?!!!!!!!!"

I tried the dry eraser, a dry paper towel, a wet paper towel, a dish scrubber, nail polish remover which only removed like 10% of it, Awesome ( it's a liquid household cleaner which was not so awesome at cleaning this job). I tried just about everything, but nothing worked?! By this time, my husband became peeved and scolded me and told me that I better get online and figure out a way to take it off! I became just as peeved and told him that it's really all HIS FAULT (since I can't blame myself) because if he "would of been spending time and monitoring me, instead of playing his dumb video games, then we wouldn't be in the predicament that we were in!" He gave me a baffled look like, " WHAT?!!" And again informed me that I better take it off. I told him to " Chilax, Count Chocula, it will be gone by tomorrow!" Then I went online and looked up " How to remove dry erase marker from your refrigerator?" Luckily, I wasn't the only person in the world to do this and found a bunch of people saying that the only way to take it off is by soaking a Mr. Clean eraser sponge with nail polish remover.

The next morning, I awoke to my husband yelling at me to get up and demanding that I remove my graffiti! Truth be told, I still was proud of my work and felt that it made our fridge look more well established in its refrigerator life. As if he should have a noble name, like Lord Fridgidaire or something in that nature, but again my husband was not pleased and decided to barrate me like a child and so I decided to act like a teenager and pretended to not care and ignored him while he sat on the kitchen floor cursing my name and trying to scrub the drawing away. To make a long story longer......just kidding, I'm almost to the end! Heehee, okay, I got sidetracked now; where was I? Oh yeah, so we eventually went to the store and bought the recommended sponges and nail polish remover and I came home and I kid you not, as soon as I put the nail polish soaked sponge on the fridge, the stain magically disappeared before my eyes!!! It was truly a miracle I say! I tried wiping it with nail polish remover by itself on a cotton ball, but like I previously stated, it only removed a little bit of it, so I don't know if Mr. Clean is really a genie that grants your cleaning wishes or what, but I am reluctant to report that "Lord Fridgidaire" is no more..........Until next time my beloved (don't draw on your refrigerator with dry erase markers) ;p

Where have I been?

Hello my wonderful friends around the world! Sorry it's been awhile since we last spoke, but I've been so busy this month!! For one I started my new job; YAY! My first day was Monday and I gotta say it was a pretty awesome day! I had to be at the training site at 7:00a.m. So I woke up at 4:30 ( haven't done that in awhile) and was out of my house by 5:45a.m. I was so worried because according to my husband I have no sense of direction ( woman driver, blah blah) and I always get lost. He was originally suppose to drive me the 40 miles,  but he is continuing to care for our nephew so we agreed it would be easier if I just rove myself. So off I went with my GPS in hand and ready to launch out on my new adventure, when all of a sudden I had to make an abrupt stop, about face and head back to my house because I forgot the car keys in the house and to top it off I locked the door from the inside before I went to the car, so there I was banging in the washroom for my husband to come open the front door and give me the keys ( hope I didn't wake the neighbors)?! Once I was back on track, I headed towards my destination and only had to turn around once, because I missed my turn to change freeways and had to get off and turn around again. Thankfully I made it to the training site with time to spare and I had a wonderful first day!

My trainer looked and acted like George Lopez ( for those of you who don't know him, he's a Latino comedian actor) so my day was spent mostly smiling and laughing. After training I came straight home without any delays and I patted myself on the back for finding my own way home without any help :D I'm a little worried though because they are saying if we can't cut it, then they are letting us go and I just hope I can keep up?! I'm putting my faith in The Lord though, because he got me this far and I am trusting he will give me the strength to do what I need to do.

Another reason why I am so busy is because this is actually my birthday month!!!! Hip, hip Hurray I'm turning into an old fart! Well almost anyway; I'm turning 30, but I feel more like 50; hopefully this new job will whip  me into shape with all the walking and lifting I will be doing?

Since this is such a milestone birthday, I decided to go crazy and throw myself a birthday party to celebrate. The theme is "Mad Hatter wonderland tea party," I don't know how I'm going to decorate or anything, but I know we are still tight with money so I'm baking my own birthday cake and also having a birthday cake bake off challenge so I can have lots of desserts and birthday cakes with having to spend hundreds of dollars. My total budget I am giving myself is $200 that's with a cushion, so lets see if I make it below budget and still have an awesome birthday party. Well I gotta get back to all my planning; wish me luck!...... Until Next time my beloved