We were at church recently and as I mentioned in previous blogs, I haven't been that well. In fact, due to some sudden health scares and complications, it made me do an instant halt and re-evaluate what's really important; my health or everyone and everything else? So for now, I chose getting healthy and it caused me to step down and take a step back from volunteering, especially at church. Which might I add was a very hard thing for me to do, because I was so dedicated and immersed in my ministry work; I was even going to the Praise School of Ministry to become a better ministry leader so when I all of a sudden couldn't do it, I just needed to accept that sometimes, stepping back and letting go is the best thing to do.
But anyway, getting back to why I originally started blogging this, my husband and I were at church when the Pastors wife came up to us and asked how I was doing? I told her I was much better than I was the week prior and that I appreciated the support and prayers of our church family members as they really renewed my spirit. Then she gave me some encouraging words and turned to my husband and told him that he needs to be a leader in the household and make sure to always lead his wife to the Lord. My husband and I looked at each other and smiled and my husband graciously told her, yes I will, but in my head, I was saying to myself, He already does that?
The thing about my husband is that he is not the type of person that so freely expresses himself that the whole world can look at him and instantly know what kind of man he is. In all actuality, there are many layers to my husband, layers that I don't think anyone has ever really even seen or known about except for myself, him and God? So I was thinking about what the Pastor's wife said and was just wondering why she would say that? Was it a subliminal message saying that because I stopped volunteering that I am veering away from my faith? Was it just words of encouragement or was it just so that she could say something inspirational to my husband? So here I was being the thinker that I am...always thinking, thinking, thinking.....just like Winnie the Pooh, just without all the honey! LOL..that reminds me, if you ever want to know what my husband and I are like and look like....we pretty much look and act like Winnie the Pooh and piglet!...ok...getting back to what I was saying.
So here I was thinking when I had an epiphany! When people first meet my husband, they don't really like him! It's funny, but it's true! My husband is very stand offish and doesn't really socialize, in fact if it was up to him, he would be in and out without hesitation and back in the safety of his beloved house where his best friends the television, ipad and computer are. Naturally, this is not really a good trait to have, especially at church where everyone is so warm and welcoming so no one really knows or talks to my husband at church, accept for a select few who actually get him. Aside from being an introvert, he is very straight forward, my husband hates dilly dallying and beating around the bush, when he needs something he will say it, when he wants something he will say it and when he has an opinion he isn't afraid to tell you regardless of what your status is, so again..reasons people don't like my husband.
But like I said in the beginning, there are layers to this magnificent man, layers that no one ever gets to see, which is why I am blogging and gushing about him so everyone can get at least a glimpse of what I see in him everyday!
I always tease my husband and say he suffers from "White Knight Syndrome." One layer of my husband is that he is chivalrous..yes that's right ladies, Chivalry still exist and I was one of the blessed ones to get him! I have countless stories I can tell you of where my husband courageously put himself aside and helped someone in need, regardless of how big or small or even dangerous, he always tries to help in every way that he can, which is why I love him so much! I think I mentioned some of the other stories in other blogs, if not, I should start, because he really deserves some credit, but that's another layer about him.
My husband hates the lime light, he says that when he does something, it isn't to get the credit or the glory, he does it because he WANTS to do it and he does it to serve the Lord and that isn't anything special to need recognition or anything. Again at church, people would come up to me and make comments about how they never saw my husband in the Sunday service and he was always missing, but what they don't know, even now is that as soon as he gets to church, someone is always calling on him for assistance because he knows about networking and programming so he volunteers and helps set up the background and fix things. He is also a Sunday School teacher and all those weeks he wasn't in the service, it was because he was helping me by teaching Sunday School classes that I wasn't able to find volunteers for. But no one ever knows that about him, because they don't really talk to him.
Another thing about my husband is that when he loves, he does it whole heartedly! When he met me, I was already damaged goods. My heart was in pieces, I didn't know who I was or where I was going, but yet he still loved me and since I'm spilling all our secrets, when I get depressed, it is a very dark time in our household. At one point when my depression was really bad, I became catatonic to the point where I just couldn't function and my husband had to dress me, feed me and put me to bed because I would just cry and cry and cry and when I wasn't crying I was just numb. Also, when I was rushed to the E.R. my husband never left my side, despite having scoliosis and a weak back, he sat next to me on a stool without any complaint for 14 hours straight because he wanted to be near me, incase anything happened. Aside from all of this, whenever I do start going into a dark place, my husband is the ONLY one who could ever bring me back to the light.
So why am I telling you all of this, because I love him, not just for what he is or who he is, but because he first loved me and by him just loving me, he reminds me of God's love for me and how he blessed me with such a precious gift and in turn, I fall even more deeply in love with the Lord each and everyday that he blesses me with a husband who shows me kindness, patience, benevolence and above all else LOVE...isn't that what the Lord wants for us after all? So for all you out there that sees someone in church that really isn't that approachable, maybe next time you can get to know them a little more, you never know, they just might show you how to fall in love with the Lord!....until next time
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