Today is a bitter sweet day. A year ago today, I brought home my beautiful son, and on this day, 69 years ago, my father was born. My father was a great man. A man of many stories, laughs and talents. For those that were lucky enough to know him well, they would tell you stories about my dad; stories that were always filled with adventure, danger and lots of laughs at the end. My dad for the better sense of the word was a scoundrel, a street rat, he ruled his barrio in the Philippines, circa 1950's to 60's, and if you needed someone to stick up and fight for you, that was my dad; always prepared to have his friends back in times of need. No matter what..Even if that friend was sick and dying, he literally took off his most expensive jewelry, told the family to sell it and use the money to pay for whatever medical expenses his friend needed. My dad would never leave someone out in the rain, even if it was a stranger. He said it was because he knew what it was like to be hungry, cold and uncertain about tomorrow.
He came to America in 1974, with only $5 in his pocket, the information his contacts gave him was false, so when he got here, he was lost, confused and hungry with no place to go. Luckily for him, he had God on his side that touched the hearts of a couple that lived in L.A and when he told them his story, they took him home and helped him get started on his new life in America.
Now, aside from having many talents, my dad of course was a very good looking man and from a young age, he found he had a talent for charming women. He got a job at Pic N Save and would tell us the stories about all the women that would have crushes on him, but none of the stories mattered as much as the story of when he met and fell in love with my mother. She was barely entering her twenties as he was starting to exit his, but as soon as she saw him, she knew she found the one the Lord made just for her. She just got hired at Pic N Save as well and my dad said she was too skinny at the time for his taste. But that didn't stop my mom from pursuing and charming him and in a few short years they were married and starting our family. Together they raised 9 beautiful children and though raising such a large family had its toll here and there, there was never a doubt of how much love there was for one another. My dad worked hard to provide for his family, always making sure we had enough to survive. When times got really tough, he would turn to his many talents of selling woodcrafts, tailoring clothes, catering his delicious Filipino cooking. Yes, there were hard times, but even in those hard times, we still had each other and that was something my dad always made sure of.
He was so proud of each of his kids as they grew up and started their own lives. He loved his grandchildren to the moon and back and would light up everytime one of them would visit him. Christmas time was my dad's favorite holiday..He said each of our families had the whole year, but Christmas was his holiday. He would stay up all night and early morning cooking all of his kids favorite dishes of sweet rice, Calderata, Adobo, lumpia...you name it, he cooked it and would take extra delight seeing each of his kids enjoying his cooking. This past Christmas he was so weak and sick, but he still stood up all night cooking, just so he could see his kids faces.
He was a strong man, but also a stubborn man, he refused to allow sickness to get the better of him. Even when his kidneys were failing and he was so weak, he would say what can a doctor do that I can't? I can take care of myself!
Of course he would go to the doctor, but towards the end, we think he knew his time was running out and though he didn't tell us, we think he just wanted to live the remainder of his days surrounded by the people he loved and those that loved him most. On January 26, 2018, at 3:58 in the morning, the world briefly stopped turning, the sky became darker and our family changed forever.
Though we are temporarily sad, our hearts are rejoicing knowing we will get to see him again. Knowing he is no longer sick or in pain. Knowing, he is with our Father in heaven who loves him more than we ever could on earth.
His viewing was a celebration more than a mourning. People were not only comforted, but encouraged and given hope through his life and legacy. His viewing and funeral had over 200 attendees and there was such an outpouring of love that the funeral home came to my mother afterwards and said they never experienced anything like it and were so amazed by our family. I know my dad would be smiling at such a party!
But getting to why this is such a bitter sweet day. Today is my father's birthday. Though it's been emotionally tough getting through the last couple of months, today is especially tough, because he is not here to celebrate it. When I get up, I won' be able to go to his house and wish him a happy birthday. I won' be able to bake his favorite pineapple upside down cake that I promised I would make for him or see his smiling face as we sing happy birthday to him. I won' be able to hear his laugh as he tells us one of his silly jokes or stories, or watch him be so proud and play with my son. These are the things I have to accept for today. But one thing I won't accept is forgetting my dad and that he lived. So to honor him on his special day today, I am sharing him with the world. Happy Birthday Rustico Yparraguirre, for as long as I live, my daddy you'll be.
Saturday, April 21, 2018
Monday, April 4, 2016
The Stars and I
Ever since I was a little girl and watched An American Tail (1986), I always would sit on my window sill at night looking up at the stars. No, scratch that! No matter where I was, or what I was doing, whenever the days would start to fade away and the stars would awaken the night sky, I always would look up at them. Now that I think back, I think it was because I may not have known a lot of things with great certainty, but whenever I looked up at the stars, I would dream! Dream of the days gone by, of days that have yet to be, or never were. No matter what I was going through in my life, I could always count on my dreams to save me.
When I came of age and got married, I didn't even realize it, but I stopped looking up at the stars, somehow stopped dreaming. I mean I still had dreams. I would dream of finishing school, starting a family,buying my first home, so on and so forth; but those were dreams of necessity or logic. They were not the dreams that you could get lost in for hours or make you have butterflies in your chest.
I reminisce on this childhood experience, because I was out on the town with my husband tonight and as we were driving home, I caught myself looking up at the stars and I started remembering what those stars meant to me. How they were a million wishes and prayers sent up to heaven to be answered. How they were the tears of pain and sorrow saved in heaven in remembrance. They were the light in my darkness and no matter where I was or how alone I felt, they were always there shining down on me and giving me hope for a better tomorrow. As I sat in the passenger seat of our car driving along on the highway of our life, I started thinking about those stars and wondering why I never looked up at them anymore? Did my life become so busy that I no longer have time to dream anymore? Were the stars just a childish notion that I grew out of as I have gotten older? Did I come to a point of definitive consciousness, where I said, "What's the point?"
I am not sure when or why I stopped, but I think it was around the time I got married. Reason being that when I married my husband, my whole life changed. Suddenly all those wishes and prayers that I would send up to the stars, finally came true, all of my tears and sorrow, turned into complete and utter joy and happiness. My husband became my light and I was always surrounded by him and darkness no longer existed. Because of that, I no longer needed to hope for a better tomorrow because every moment I was living was the best moment I thought I could ever experience. Don't get me wrong, by no means is my husband, or our marriage perfect, but the fact still remains, it is perfect for me! Though the stars are a wonderful after thought, I find that I no longer need to dream, because now my life is better than my dreams could ever be and I thank the Lord every day for such a wonderful gift in life he has blessed me with!...Until next time
When I came of age and got married, I didn't even realize it, but I stopped looking up at the stars, somehow stopped dreaming. I mean I still had dreams. I would dream of finishing school, starting a family,buying my first home, so on and so forth; but those were dreams of necessity or logic. They were not the dreams that you could get lost in for hours or make you have butterflies in your chest.
I reminisce on this childhood experience, because I was out on the town with my husband tonight and as we were driving home, I caught myself looking up at the stars and I started remembering what those stars meant to me. How they were a million wishes and prayers sent up to heaven to be answered. How they were the tears of pain and sorrow saved in heaven in remembrance. They were the light in my darkness and no matter where I was or how alone I felt, they were always there shining down on me and giving me hope for a better tomorrow. As I sat in the passenger seat of our car driving along on the highway of our life, I started thinking about those stars and wondering why I never looked up at them anymore? Did my life become so busy that I no longer have time to dream anymore? Were the stars just a childish notion that I grew out of as I have gotten older? Did I come to a point of definitive consciousness, where I said, "What's the point?"
I am not sure when or why I stopped, but I think it was around the time I got married. Reason being that when I married my husband, my whole life changed. Suddenly all those wishes and prayers that I would send up to the stars, finally came true, all of my tears and sorrow, turned into complete and utter joy and happiness. My husband became my light and I was always surrounded by him and darkness no longer existed. Because of that, I no longer needed to hope for a better tomorrow because every moment I was living was the best moment I thought I could ever experience. Don't get me wrong, by no means is my husband, or our marriage perfect, but the fact still remains, it is perfect for me! Though the stars are a wonderful after thought, I find that I no longer need to dream, because now my life is better than my dreams could ever be and I thank the Lord every day for such a wonderful gift in life he has blessed me with!...Until next time
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
My Confession
Sorry I haven't been on for so long, I seem to be in an existential crisis at the moment. As my birthday approaches and everyone is pointing out my actual age (I'm in my thirties, even though everyone still thinks I'm 19..That's right...I got the forever looking young genes LOL) anyway, I was in my philosophy class today and the topic was on Tolstoy and the meaning of life.
If you do not know who Leo Tolstoy is, I suggest you Google him now, because he was only regarded as one of the greatest authors of all time. I would tell you his biography, but there is too much to tell and such little time that you can just simply click on the links I provided and it will lead you to what you need to know. The reason for my blogging is that in class, the professor asked if anyone knew who Tolstoy was? When he asked, only like 3 people raised their hands. Now mind you, this is a class of 159 students and only THREE people aside from the Professor knew of the author that not only penned War and Peace, Anna Karenina and countless others, but also was a genius in his own right. The reason the professor asked, was because Tolstoy wrote in his bibliography, a portion called "My Confession," which was at a point in his life where he became deeply depressed and started to ponder what the point of his life was? To paraphrase his argument, his conclusion was "What was the meaning of life if in the end there is just death, rot and worms?"
As I sat there, pondering his argument, I started to ponder my own life. WHAT WAS THE POINT? I have entertained this question more than I care to share at this point, but I too have been conflicted with the same disposition as Tolstoy in trying to figure out what the purpose was for everything? I mean, why did I even start this blog to begin with? I started it because I wanted to share my story and let people that were going through the same thing know that there is hope and happiness at the end of the tunnel....but then what? Will anyone remember me 5 generations from now after I am long dead and gone, or will they forget me as if I never existed like Tolstoy? Why am I working, fighting and torturing myself to finish school? So I can work...and then what? So I can be successful in life and have all the things that I so desired and to provide a legacy to my future bloodline...and then what?
No matter what we do, or how hard we try.....We all die in the end! Just some get there sooner than others. It made me think of my life and how I've stressed out and gotten sick health wise for so long and started to think....was it all worth it? IS it still worth it? I feel like some points in my life have been a total waste of time and those are moments of my life that I will never get back! But still...What is the point, if all it leads to is death?
But then I started meditating on the Lord and you know what..everything DOES have a point and my life is meaningful! Death does not have victory, but CHRIST who conquered death, so that we can have ETERNAL LIFE (1 John 5:13; 1 John 5:5; Galatians 2:20). Whenever we start to doubt the Lord, the bible says: But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind (James 1:6)." It also says, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). It is the purpose of my life to serve the Lord my God and it is He that gives me meaning and reasons to live. On that note, don't ever think that your life is meaningless or hopeless, yes one day you will be dead and basically worm food, but until then, your life means something and it is worth a whole lot more than you even realize.
If you do not know who Leo Tolstoy is, I suggest you Google him now, because he was only regarded as one of the greatest authors of all time. I would tell you his biography, but there is too much to tell and such little time that you can just simply click on the links I provided and it will lead you to what you need to know. The reason for my blogging is that in class, the professor asked if anyone knew who Tolstoy was? When he asked, only like 3 people raised their hands. Now mind you, this is a class of 159 students and only THREE people aside from the Professor knew of the author that not only penned War and Peace, Anna Karenina and countless others, but also was a genius in his own right. The reason the professor asked, was because Tolstoy wrote in his bibliography, a portion called "My Confession," which was at a point in his life where he became deeply depressed and started to ponder what the point of his life was? To paraphrase his argument, his conclusion was "What was the meaning of life if in the end there is just death, rot and worms?"
As I sat there, pondering his argument, I started to ponder my own life. WHAT WAS THE POINT? I have entertained this question more than I care to share at this point, but I too have been conflicted with the same disposition as Tolstoy in trying to figure out what the purpose was for everything? I mean, why did I even start this blog to begin with? I started it because I wanted to share my story and let people that were going through the same thing know that there is hope and happiness at the end of the tunnel....but then what? Will anyone remember me 5 generations from now after I am long dead and gone, or will they forget me as if I never existed like Tolstoy? Why am I working, fighting and torturing myself to finish school? So I can work...and then what? So I can be successful in life and have all the things that I so desired and to provide a legacy to my future bloodline...and then what?
No matter what we do, or how hard we try.....We all die in the end! Just some get there sooner than others. It made me think of my life and how I've stressed out and gotten sick health wise for so long and started to think....was it all worth it? IS it still worth it? I feel like some points in my life have been a total waste of time and those are moments of my life that I will never get back! But still...What is the point, if all it leads to is death?
But then I started meditating on the Lord and you know what..everything DOES have a point and my life is meaningful! Death does not have victory, but CHRIST who conquered death, so that we can have ETERNAL LIFE (1 John 5:13; 1 John 5:5; Galatians 2:20). Whenever we start to doubt the Lord, the bible says: But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind (James 1:6)." It also says, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). It is the purpose of my life to serve the Lord my God and it is He that gives me meaning and reasons to live. On that note, don't ever think that your life is meaningless or hopeless, yes one day you will be dead and basically worm food, but until then, your life means something and it is worth a whole lot more than you even realize.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Mar Mars Toys Christmas Commercial
Hello all my beloveds around the world; I've missed you!! Sorry I haven't been blogging with you all lately, but I have been so busy lately whoring out my......I mean outsourcing my skills and talents to other projects and business endeavors LOL! Anywho, I thought I would come on here for a quick second to just catch up for a second. Let's see, my career is about to take off, I just don't know in which direction, so I am very excited to see which path I end up on? I've been pretty sick most of December which is why I haven't been on here also, but I feel better today so I must really think you guys are special to be spending it with you <3 <3
I have also been working feverishly on creating hair bows and bowties which can be found at www.marmarstoys.com...they are actually pretty awesome, so if you want to check them out, they can be found there by clicking on the link and looking in the Accessories section.
What I am most proud of is the commercial that I wrote, directed, produced, edited, etc. for Mar Mars Toys. Considering that I had no scripts and made it up as I went along and that one of the talents was a 4 year old pre-madonna, I am pretty impressed with what we were able to put together LOL! But then again, I am pretty biased so check it out for yourself and let me know what you think? Also, don't forget to subscribe and follow to see what other madness I might create for them LOL...Until next time....
I have also been working feverishly on creating hair bows and bowties which can be found at www.marmarstoys.com...they are actually pretty awesome, so if you want to check them out, they can be found there by clicking on the link and looking in the Accessories section.
What I am most proud of is the commercial that I wrote, directed, produced, edited, etc. for Mar Mars Toys. Considering that I had no scripts and made it up as I went along and that one of the talents was a 4 year old pre-madonna, I am pretty impressed with what we were able to put together LOL! But then again, I am pretty biased so check it out for yourself and let me know what you think? Also, don't forget to subscribe and follow to see what other madness I might create for them LOL...Until next time....
Monday, October 5, 2015
Cheap Date Idea
After being married for so long, it kind of gets hard to be innovative when it comes to romance and dating. After while, some couples fall into this rut, where they do the same routine over and over and it just gets so old! That's why it's important to keep things fun and interesting every once in awhile.
This past weekend my husband and I went on a date. At first, it was the typical weekend date of eating out and watching a movie, but after the movie, we decided to walk around town and I wanted to keep exploring, while my husband just wanted to do what we always do and just go straight home. I started to get down because I am a very adventurous type of person that loves spontaneity and exploring new things, so while he started driving home, I just told him, "WHY CAN'T WE JUST PICK A ROAD AND SEE WHERE IT TAKES US?!" He saw that I really wanted to go on an adventure, so my husband being the supportive man that he is, got off the freeway and told me "Left or Right?" I knew if we turned right, we would just head back home eventually, so I told him "LEFT!" which was towards the mountains and an area I didn't think I been to before? We drove it through three cities we never heard of before. One was called "Sparta" I think and one was Montrose? I never heard of those cities but they were near Hollywood and Burbank and were very interesting cities to visit. We then kept driving up and ended at the foothills of the mountains and when we couldn't drive any higher, we put our car in neutral and coasted all the way back down. To be honest, not only was it fun and exciting to explore new places we never been to before, but it was also a great time to spend with your spouse or significant other because we spent the whole time just talking and enjoying each others company. So there you have it, if you guys are looking for something fun and inexpensive to do this weekend and are feeling a little adventurous, why not grab you sweetheart and pick a road and see where it takes you; you never know, it might just lead you to falling in love.....Until Next time!
This past weekend my husband and I went on a date. At first, it was the typical weekend date of eating out and watching a movie, but after the movie, we decided to walk around town and I wanted to keep exploring, while my husband just wanted to do what we always do and just go straight home. I started to get down because I am a very adventurous type of person that loves spontaneity and exploring new things, so while he started driving home, I just told him, "WHY CAN'T WE JUST PICK A ROAD AND SEE WHERE IT TAKES US?!" He saw that I really wanted to go on an adventure, so my husband being the supportive man that he is, got off the freeway and told me "Left or Right?" I knew if we turned right, we would just head back home eventually, so I told him "LEFT!" which was towards the mountains and an area I didn't think I been to before? We drove it through three cities we never heard of before. One was called "Sparta" I think and one was Montrose? I never heard of those cities but they were near Hollywood and Burbank and were very interesting cities to visit. We then kept driving up and ended at the foothills of the mountains and when we couldn't drive any higher, we put our car in neutral and coasted all the way back down. To be honest, not only was it fun and exciting to explore new places we never been to before, but it was also a great time to spend with your spouse or significant other because we spent the whole time just talking and enjoying each others company. So there you have it, if you guys are looking for something fun and inexpensive to do this weekend and are feeling a little adventurous, why not grab you sweetheart and pick a road and see where it takes you; you never know, it might just lead you to falling in love.....Until Next time!
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Not so good News for Disneyland lovers
If you live in Southern California, one of the MUST haves if you are a fun loving family or individual is having a Disney Pass! I tried to resist for so long and I was so proud of myself for not being one of those people that live at theme parks. But after years of persistence, my sister finally wore me down and I bought the Premium pass that was around $800 or so, but it came with free parking and some extra perks so I felt like I got my monies worth. I was living the Disney life with my Disney Buddy and family, but then they HAD to ruin it! I guess it makes sense with the new expansion of Star Wars Land and all the new additions they are bringing to the park, but still in todays society where it's either pay to survive or go to Disneyland, sorry Disney but I'd rather be happy at home with a roof over my head and food in my belly!
Apparently, Disney got rid of my beloved Premium Pass and made way for two new options which are the Disney Signature Passport and the Disney Signature Plus Passport. The Disney Signature Passport is basically the same as the Deluxe Pass, but its $250 more, costing $849 and comes with PhotoPass downloads, parking and a higher discount rate. The Disney Signature Plus Passport is basically the same exact deal as the Disney Signature Pass, with the exception of no blackout dates and cost a whopping $1,049. Sadly, being a college student that's trying to figure out life right now, I've decided to spend my money more wisely and will not be renewing or getting a pass anytime soon. But if you enjoy ridiculously high pricing on food, merchandise and entrance fees and pushing through thousands of hot sweaty people to get to long lines that take about 45 minutes to an hour to ride, by all means, check out their page at https://disneyland.disney.go.com/passes ..I on the other hand will be at my most happiest place on earth, which is here with you all...Until next time!
Friday, October 2, 2015
College Life Part 2
Is it just me or does the year always seem to be in fast forward towards the end? NO!! I'm not ready!! Despite that, I am not sure if I'm feeling excited or anxious about this being my last year of college? Either way...FINALLY!!! I feel like I'm in a daze because the classes seem to be way to easy..or is it because I'm so used to the workload and assignments by now that it doesn't even phase me? I don't know, but I just finished my topic outline and presentation powerpoint and now I'm sitting here like...That's it? I'm done, I thought that was going to be harder?! Hmmmmm...maybe it will hit me when I start working on my final paper, I don't know, but all I have to say is on to the next assignment!! I have a genogram and three reflection papers I have to write and at this rate, I think I will be done by the end of this evening..WHHHHAAATTTTT?!!!! I must be on something, because I'm on a roll....Until next time :P
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