The Stars and I

Ever since I was a little girl and watched An American Tail (1986), I always would sit on my window sill at night looking up at the stars.  No, scratch that! No matter where I was, or what I was doing, whenever the days would start to fade away and the stars would awaken the night sky, I always would look up at them.  Now that I think back, I think it was because I may not have known a lot of things with great certainty, but whenever I looked up at the stars, I would dream! Dream of the days gone by, of days that have yet to be, or never were. No matter what I was going through in my life, I could always count on my dreams to save me.

When I came of age and got married, I didn't even realize it, but I stopped looking up at the stars, somehow stopped dreaming.  I mean I still had dreams.  I would dream of finishing school, starting a family,buying my first home, so on and so forth; but those were dreams of necessity or logic. They were not the dreams that you could get lost in for hours or make you have butterflies in your chest.

I reminisce on this childhood experience, because I was out on the town with my husband tonight and as we were driving home, I caught myself looking up at the stars and I started remembering what those stars meant to me.  How they were a million wishes and prayers sent up to heaven to be answered. How they were the tears of pain and sorrow saved in heaven in remembrance. They were the light in my darkness and no matter where I was or how alone I felt, they were always there shining down on me and giving me hope for a better tomorrow. As I sat in the passenger seat of our car driving along on the highway of our life, I started thinking about those stars and wondering why I never looked up at them anymore? Did my life become so busy that I no longer have time to dream anymore? Were the stars just a childish notion that I grew out of as I have gotten older? Did I come to a point of definitive consciousness, where I said, "What's the point?"

I am not sure when or why I stopped, but I think it was around the time I got married.  Reason being that when I married my husband, my whole life changed.  Suddenly all those wishes and prayers that I would send up to the stars, finally came true, all of my tears and sorrow, turned into complete and utter joy and happiness. My husband became my light and I was always surrounded by him and darkness no longer existed. Because of that, I no longer needed to hope for a better tomorrow because every moment I was living was the best moment I thought I could ever experience. Don't get me wrong, by no means is my husband, or our marriage perfect, but the fact still remains, it is perfect for me! Though the stars are a wonderful after thought, I find that I no longer need to dream, because now my life is better than my dreams could ever be and I thank the Lord every day for such a wonderful gift in life he has blessed me with!...Until next time

College Life

Hello my beloved, how are you all doing?  I just came back from taking a final and all I have to say is that it is in God's hands now! I tried to study so hard, but at the same time, it's hard being an adult, while trying to finish school! Everytime I tried to study, I had a parent calling me to take their kid here, I had to drop one kid off there. I had a toddler begging for my attention, my mother asking me to babysit, while she runs a quick errand and the whole time, I'm like..But I HAVE TO STUDY?! Nope, doesn't matter. When you are a responsible adult, all of a sudden your "To Do list" outshines your priorities.

So there I was a half an hour before class, trying to get as much reading and studying in that I possibly could, before the professor walked in.  Luckily, she had a brief class with us to help put our minds at ease and even gave us a couple of the answers; but then the test started! I felt ok about probably the first 6 or so questions, but then I started getting these questions like:

7.) "Timmy called out "ball" to refer exlusively to his blue ball, what linguistic phonological process is he exhibiting?"

8.) "Timmy called out "ball" to refer exlusively to all blue balls, what linguistic phonological process is he exhibiting?"

9.)"Timmy called out "ball" to refer exlusively to not just blue balls, but all circular objects (shape, eggs, balloon, etc.), what linguistic phonological process is he exhibiting?"


All that I started thinking was, who is this "TIMMY" and what is up with all these "BLUE BALLS?" But I couldn't let a little blue balls questions, distract me, so I kept pushing forward. I started regaining my composer, but then I remembered I was hungry because I didn't eat before the test and now my head is starting to hurt. All I could think was "DANG IT, WHY DIDN'T I EAT BEFORE THE TEST?!!" But still, I kept pushing through to the next questions. Eventually, I just kept telling myself, "When in doubt, choose C." Quite frankly, I'm not that confident about what grade I am going to be getting for this class, but at this point, I will be over joyed if I pass with a C!!!...Until next time....