Sometimes it hurts

Today is such a beautiful day! The sun is shining, the sky is so clear and blue, and there is a nice ocean breeze that is softly coming through my window and wrapping it warmth around me. With this day being so beautiful, it's hard for me to understand why inside I want to just scream at the top of my lungs and pull my hair?! Nothing is wrong, it's been a pretty easy going day, I have just been home relaxing with my nephew and he's been asleep for the past three hours so i know it's not because of him? In fact he's been the total opposite, whenever I'm with him he just makes me laugh with his crazy ways.

It's when I'm sitting here quietly alone with my thoughts that I start feeling so.......I don't know, I can't explain it; is it my depression rearing its ugly head? Maybe it's because I'm 30 years old and my life is nowhere where I wanted it to be by now? Maybe it's because I can't do the things that I so deep in my heart want to do like finish school, start a family with my husband, have my husbands things worked out,  have financial freedom, etc, etc? I don't know?! the only thing that I do know, is that God withholds things from us for our own good and if my life isn't the way I planned, then God has a good reason for it.......that reminds me.....want to hear God laugh......tell him YOUR plans......until next time beloved