HAIR today, gone tomorrow

Здравствуйте!,안녕하세요,Mabuhay!您好,Gahoozen, howber neflooten! Bonjour, Hallo and all those wonderful greetings from around the world!! Welcome back to my blog and for all of you that are new, thanks for joining us here at "What the Hell Happened to Russhelle?!" Where all we talk about is, literally, What The Hell Happened to Russhelle!!! I'm Russhelle by the way and I am so glad to see you all here :D!I know my past blogs have been a little dreary and down right depressing, but as I informed you all before, I DO struggle with depression and I have my good days and my bad, but can you blame me?
I thought I would lighten the mood with a crazy story that just happened to me that I thought you would all enjoy reading.  Okay, are you all tucked in and ready for tonight's story??
It all started two days ago when my beautiful cousin was celebrating her 18th birthday and I wanted to look nice for her party.  Like I said she is so beautiful, I didn't want to look even crappier standing next to her, but as you know I have been jobless for pretty much this whole year, so I decided to give myself a budget cut and volunteered my husband to be my stylist....that was my first mistake!!


This was me: Sweetie, do you want to play beauty parlor with me and cut my hair

My husband:  No! I don't know how to cut hair

Me: Come on, you cut everyones hair!

My husband: Yeah, but they are all guys, I don't know how to cut woman's hair

Me: (with baby doe eyes) Papa! just cut my hair, I trust you and if you mess up, it's okay, it's just hair it will grow back (That was my second mistake by the way)....plus, you only have to cut a quarter of an inch off, that's all I want, all you are going to do is trim it for me, cuz I can't see the back of my head (still looking at him with puppy dog eyes)

My husband: (because he's a sucker when I do puppy dog eyes at him) Okay fine, but just know I don't feel confident doing this!!

Me: Baby, it's only hair, you can do it, I believe in you, the cut is already there, all you have to do is trim it.

So off to the bathroom we went, me so excited to get pampered and my husband reluctantly following behind.  He brought out his professional hair equipment; his barber sheers, his electric shaver, the mirror, comb, etc. and he then proceeded to put the barber cloak around me.  With shaky hands, he put a comb in one hand and scissors in the other and began to cut my hair.

Me: Yay, your committed now babe, no turning back from this point

My husband: I'm telling you I don't know what I'm doing

Me: Babe it's easy, just follow the line of the cut on the bottom

Snip, snip, snip....I look at the back through the mirror ( Babe, make sure you cut my hair at an angle, because I want an A line hair cut)..snip, snip, snip... ( Babe, you're not cutting it in a straight line are you?)....my husband who is starting to get frustrated responds with, No!  I'm not!!..snip, snip, snip, snip (Babe, are you sure?!!)..my husband, I told you I don't want to do this, here look, it looks like S****!!!, he gives me the mirror.. (WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO??!!! I TOLD YOU I JUST WANTED IT TRIMMED, YOU DID A SQUARE BOX IN THE BACK!!!) my husband getting frustrated, here I can fix it....snip, snip, snip (BABE IT LOOKS TERRIBLE!!! FIX IT!!! This by the way was my third and biggest mistake)

He then brought out the electric shaver and began shaving the back of my head, (BABE, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING??!!! I TOLD YOU HOW TO CUT MY HAIR, WHY THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT??!!!  I GAVE YOU SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS, THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD TO DO, WHAT THE HECK!!!!) My husband getting even more frustrated, I told you I didn't want to F*** do this!! Do it yourself!! He throws the shaver in the sink and as I look around and there is hair EVERYWHERE!!!! on the floor, on the walls, even on the ceiling and I'm like, Babe if I could do it myself, don't you think I would!! I told you I can't see the back of my head, you can't leave me like this, I am so upset right now!! My husband responded with, well just go have someone do it and pay for it then.  Me on the verge of tears, grab the scissors and start cutting the sides to try and even out the monstrosity that is on top of my head.  We continue yelling at each other and my husband gives up and refuses to cut my hair.  I, after my failed attempt to fix it, give up as well and tell him to take me to a professional asap!!!  After I shower off whatever is left of my once beautiful locks, I find my husband and try to give him a hug, although he tries to reject me. I hug him anyway and tell him, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at my hair cut, it's not you, it's my hair cut I'm mad at, so we make up and he rushes me to the closest salon we could find.

When it is my turn to get into the stylist chair, she greets me and ask what brought me in? Before she could finish her sentence, I blurt out, I tried to give myself a budget cut and destroyed my hair and now I am in desparate need to fix it!! At that moment, I put down the hood I had on to cover my head and she just stands there in amazement and disbelief for a minute..... Wow!! Okay, so do you know how you want to cut it?  I told her just cut it all off!! and she asked,  So who cut the back??  I point over with my thumb as if to say "This guy over here!" and pointed her to my husband as I explained, I think where I went wrong was that I had too much confidence in him and he had too little and my husband shoots back with, I told you I didn't want to do it!!  The stylist laughs and sighs and then patiently holds my hand and guides me through my haircut.  In the end, she was able to salvage the top of my head, but had to shave the sides and the back, because, well, there was just no way of saving it!! I ended up with a pixie cut that both my husband and I are very happy with and afterwards we went straight to our cousins birthday party where everyone started calling me Halle Barry.

Now that I look back at this story, I don't know if it's really a happy story or a more traumatic one, but I guess the point of it is that we really shouldn't be so close to things because it can be "Hair"one day and gone tomorrow!!!! Until next time my friends...