The time I almost got sold to a Korean Family

Hello my friends! Thanks for all the support so far, I didn't realize my blog would be such a huge hit?! At any rate, I thought I might enchant you all with another adventure from my crazy life, but first I would like to inform you that for all intense and purposes, some characters names were changed (Don't want to get sued or anything) :P So come gather around the old campfire while I tell you the story about the time I almost got sold to a Korean family:

The day started off like any other summer day in a young adults life.  I spent the day with my then  boyfriend a.k.a my husband; we spent it at the beach, frolicking in the cool ocean and lay bathing ourselves in the warm summer sun.  I had to come home early though, because as you all remember from my last blog, I was working the graveyard shift at Starbucks and had to change and freshen up for work.

As my beloved dropped me off at home, I noticed something strange occurring in our front yard?  Upon closer observation, I noticed it was Mr. Kong, his wife and son who were sitting across from my mother and father underneath our rubber tree hiding from the heat of the sun and in deep conversation.  As I opened the gate to come into the yard, our old gate made a squeaking noise like all old rustic gates do and it was loud enough that the group in front of me turned around and looked at me.  I gave them an apologetic, but confused look and continued to walk inside my house to get ready for work.

Once inside my room, my mother came sweeping in behind me, holding her hand to her mouth trying not to laugh out loud.  I turned around startled and said "what happened?"  She started to whisper as she was afraid if she spoke too loudly the family outside might hear her and she started to explain, "do you know why they are here?", I replied "no, why?" my mother said while laughing "they want you to marry their son and as she started to attempt to imitate their accent she proceeded to say " your daughter is like a beautiful flower that is ready to blossom and you must make her understand that she must marry our son!"  now horrified, but still in disbelief I was like "whaaaaaaaattttt???!!!"  She said, "yeah and they said in return, you will get your own liquor store, a brand new BMW and they will buy you both your own house!"  She began to laugh again, I was freaked out at this point and told her "ummmm, do they not realize we are in America?" Just then my father walked in and joined the conversation "that is tradition, that is how it is suppose to be done in the old country," though he could not contain his own laughter.  Believing at this point that I might possibly have been betrothed to a 40 year old Asian virgin, I began to freak out even more and was like "HELL NO, I'M AMERICAN DANG IT!!  WHAT DID YOU GUYS TELL THEM??!!!!!  I'LL RUN AWAY AND JOIN A CONVENT RIGHT NOW I SWEAR!!"  They both started laughing hysterically, but then assured me that they made no promises for anything.  As soon as I calmed down, they began to give me the break down of what actually happened during this crazy shenanigan:

So apparently, the Kong family owned the neighborhood liquor store in which my family would regularly visit for snacks, groceries, etc. and their son who was a clerk there was I guess looking for a wife to appease his mother and at first was interested in my older sister, but they soon after found out that she was not only married, but also pregnant and so they started to set their target on me.  Looking back I really don't know how I didn't see it?  (Everytime I would go in their store, the mother would always demand that her son help me with whatever I needed. Which by the way was very embarrassing when all I wanted to do was run in, buy some pads and run home, then he moved next door to where we lived and whenever I would wash my car, he would go outside and wash his car at the same time...can you say "creeeeeeeepy)!"  Anyway, back to the story before I was rudely interrupted!...hmmmm....hmmmm....where was I? Oh yes, so my parents said they were relaxing at home, minding their own business, when all of a sudden they heard the dog barking and people yelling at the front gate (that's how we do it where I come from, we use dogs and yelling instead of doorbells and proper knocks on the door).  When they looked outside they saw the Kong family and invited them  inside for a friendly visit.  Once they all sat down though, it was a totally different story.  They began to ask about my older sister, but then my parents informed them she was already married, then they asked about me and my parents told them I was single and in college.  They began to get very interested, but told my parents that I was "too thin and needed to put some meat on my bones, if I wanted to have children."  My parents, started to get insulted, but retained their composer and continued to listen to what the Kongs had to say.  They also informed my parents that I had no choice in the matter and that I "simply have to understand that I must marry their son, no ifs or buts about it." By then I came home and was inside the house and my dad respectfully replied that "my daughter is her own person and she is the one who will decide who she will marry, we can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to."  In which case, Mr. Kong replied, "What?! you let your daughter have her own mind, that is poor parenting!!"  At this point, my father heard enough and in the kindest way possible informed Mr. Kong, "I heard what you have to say, now it's time to go...get the **$##@#@& off my property."

In closing  my dear friends, what have we learned from this story? Well apparently, I was way too thin, had a mind of my own and simply HAD to marry this Korean stranger who was twice my age!  So what did I do??  Well, I did what any sensible, logical person would have done......I married the first guy I saw to get out of it!!!  Just kidding, I did get married though and that story is even crazier than this one! But for now, I need a nap so...Until next time!