OUR STORY

Hello my friends and welcome back! I just found out I have some readers abroad so allow me to say zdravstvujtye und hallo!! You are just in time for the last and longest chapter of my story.  For those of you just tuning in, I had just awaken from dreaming about a mysterious man and am now trying to figure out who it can possibly be? Meanwhile on the other side of town, my husband to be is searching for me as well.  This is our story:

To recap, my mystery man had just received a random call from one of his friends to go with him to the local coffee shop to check out a girl he has a crush on. Unfortunately, when they got there, there were disappointed to find out she wasn't working and decided to just hang out and enjoy each others company.

A few days after that, my husband to be started craving a coffee after work and decided to head to Starbucks for a pick me up.  (Now what happens next is what he told me, but he might of been exaggerating in an attempt to get brownie points from me).  As he got out of his old 1989 Buick and started walking towards the entrance of the coffee shop, he was taken aback by a vision of a girl he noticed through the windows.  She was short in stature with long curly black hair tied in a ponytail underneath her Starbucks hat.  Her skin was a perfect tone of caramel color and her eyes were the most beautiful big brown eyes that you could get lost in for days. As he stood there dumbfounded by what he was witnessing, he saw her smile and right there and then it was like the heavens parted and a beam of light was ascending upon her as if to say, "Hallelujah you found her, you found her, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY YOU FINALLY FOUND HER!!"

Back to reality, he realized he was somehow inside the coffee shop now as if all the strings of the universe were pulling him towards her.  She was working behind the register, although by the time he finally got to it, she moved on to making and calling out drinks.  The shop was pretty busy as it was Saturday night and the tiny coffee shop was filled with people wanting to relax and hang out.  Between all the banter, ambiance music and the blasting of the blenders, it was difficult to hear, but that didn't seem to bother the girl he just couldn't seem to take his eyes off of.  As she called out the finished drink order it was as if she was the only person in the store or as if everyone had stopped what they were doing just to hear her angelic voice.  Although she was small, she called out with great authority, "VENTI, DECAF, UPSIDE DOWN MACCHIATO FOR MANNY!!" It was the most sweetest sound to have ever of touched is ears and he knew at that moment that there was no other girl that he ever wanted to be with in this world or the next except for the one in front of him.

Meanwhile, behind the counter I was frustrated with men all together and decided to call it quits, I swore I would either become a nun or lesbian (not really, just an expression) but as for me and men I was through and was just going to focus on finding myself and my way back to God.  Reason for my frustration was that all these weird guys started trying to pick up on me from 40 year old mama's boys to 26 year old insurance brokers to 15 year old little punks thinking I was actually in their league and I even had a lesbian following which was weird because I thought I was pretty straight, but looking at my above expression maybe not?!!  Nevertheless, I was like "come on, really?! These are the people that are attracted to me?!!' So I said "FORGET IT, I'M OUT!" Although, I decided that, everyone else didn't get the memo, so I continuously got harassed by cheesy pick up lines, stalkers and people leaving their phone numbers in the tip jars for me. I mean don't get me wrong, it was pretty fun meeting all these different people, but I was looking for my one true love, not someone trying to make me another notch in their belts!

Getting back to the mystery man, he didn't pick up on me that night, instead he just watched me with great entertainment and laughed to himself at this oxymoron of a small barely 5 ft girl, with a big voice that echoed throughout the whole store.  As he got his drink and was leaving, he turned around to take one last look before he left and with great confidence said to himself, "I'm going to marry that girl."

He went back to the coffee shop the next day in hopes of seeing the girl one more time, unfortunately she wasn't there.  He went back everyday for week, until finally on the last day, his friend called him up and asked if he wanted to hang out.  He told him sure and recommended hanging out at Starbucks (how convenient right)? His friend said sure and said "maybe that girl I like will be there!" So off they went to Starbucks to hang out and see if "the girl is there." Upon arrival, they both entered the store and ordered drinks; unfortunately, they did not see the girl.  They grabbed a table in front of the register as it was starting to get crowded with the weekend crowd and pulled out their Simpson Chess set and decided to hang out and play awhile.  Suddenly, from behind him he heard that angelic voice again, "GRANDE TAZOBERRY FRAPPACCINO FOR MARKO!!"  Butterflies started to dance within his belly as he got up to get their drinks.  There behind the bar, was that short statured girl with the big voice and as he got their drinks, their eyes met for a brief second as she handed them over and smiled, "thank you," he mumbled as he took the drinks and hurried back to his friend. "Dude!" his friend said excitedly, "That's the girl I was telling you about!"  In amazement, he started laughing "No way, that's the girl I was telling you about!" They both started laughing while their eyes wondered over to see what the girl behind the counter was doing?

Meanwhile, as I previously stated, I had given up on relationships so I was completely oblivious to anyone trying to flirt or what not with me, so I continued working my shift, skipping and laughing and doing what Russhelle does best.  Then it was getting close to closing time and I was pretty much exhausted as it was close to midnight and like all weekends was a very busy night. Being that our store closed at 1A.M., and people were starting to go home, I started cleaning up the store early getting ready to close.  As I walked back and forth in the front taking dirty dishes and towels to the back sink, something caught my eye? As I turned and glanced, I noticed a young gentlemen in a denim jacket quickly turning his head away from me as not to catch him looking and as cocky and shallow as this may sound, I said to myself "Oh great not another one!" But for some strange reason, I took another glance and something inside of me started pulling and as I made my way to the back I asked the Lord "Is he the one Lord?" and after I said that, I immediately felt a warm sensation come over me and there was a peace in my heart that said, "yes!"  But being that I was frustrated and gave up, I decided to push these feelings aside and said "well Lord, if that is so, give me another sign because I DON'T want to be wasting my time and getting my heart broken again!" and with that I continued on with my shift.

As the night progressed, Marko and his friend continued playing chess and hanging out, although Marko wasn't really into the game that night; he just couldn't stop looking at the coffee shop girl.  At the same time, he had just overheard two male employees talking about asking her out and given that his own friend was interested in her as well, he had a real dilemma on his hands.  Should he do the math and realize that given the male to girl ratio, he might very well be waiting in a long line to have a chance with her?  Since his friend saw her first, should he honor the bro code and see where things end up with them?  Or should he just forget everybody else and take the risk?

Sorry I cut this one short.  At the persistence of my dearly beloved, it was just waaaay too long so I guess the story will have TO BE CONTINUED.......

THE SECOND STORY

Hello my friends and welcome back; are we all tucked in and ready for our bedtime story? Okay let's see where did we leave off? Oh yes, I had just awoken from my mysterious dream and am now wondering who the heck Ar...o is???!! So there I was wide awake trying to figure out who this mystery man that I supposedly was going to spend the rest of my life with??!! Little did I know that just as God was preparing me for my husband, just the next town over, HE was doing the same thing for my husband to be; this is his side of the story: The year had just ended and so did his long term relationship with his girlfriend who it just so happened cheated on him as well. He was pretty hurt about it, after all they were together pretty much all of their adolescent lives, but he wasn't as devastated the same way I was, he actually told me he was relieved, not that he didn't care about his relationship with her, but because he knew she wasn't the one that he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. Regardless of this fact, he still felt sad about the predicament, after all he spent 6 years of his life with this girl and after everything they been through she ends up cheating. So one day, tired from all the games and defeated from his last relationship, he sat in front of his house on one warm winter day, watching the sun set and for the first time in his life for some strange reason he said a little prayer and said "God, I don't know if you exist or not, but if you do, can you please send me the girl I am meant to spend the rest of my life with? Please God let her be honest and kind and someone that I can grow old with and will just sit here next to me on the porch watching the sunset together. If you do this God, then I know you are real and will believe in you." After he said that prayer, he felt a peace in his heart, but being a guy and all, he really didn't think anything of it and started to move on with his life. About several weeks after that prayer, he got a random call from one of his friends, " oh hey buddy what's up, are you doing anything right now?" "Why?" "oh man, I just seen this really hot girl that works at Starbucks and I want you to come and see and tell me what you think?" Totally forgetting about the prayer he said by now, He said yeah whatever I'll go check her out for you." Unfortanetly, the evening that they went to the coffee shop, the girl wasn't working, but they still hung out and for the first time after the break up, he started to feel like his old self again......TO BE CONTINUED.....

THE TWO STORY HOUSE

Hello again everyone and welcome back to my blog! I know that a lot of you, just like so many in the past want to know the story of how someone finally tamed this wild beast you call Russhelle! I have been contemplating for awhile on how I was going to blog this story as it is best told in person (since I do a lot of sound effects in the process), but since that is kind of impossible, I decided I would do it like a two story house; meaning that first I will lay down the foundation with my story, then build up to "his" story and top it off nicely with "our" story..what do you all think?  Sounds like a plan? Alrighty then, lets get this party started:

I guess you can say my story started when I was 9 years old at church.  We were all in Sunday school and for some strange reason our single Sunday School teachers started talking to us about marriage and stuff and told all of us girls, "if you want to find your soul mate, I suggest you start praying now, because I've been praying for my husband for the past 7 years so as you can see it will take awhile!"

Being the gullible girl that I am, I took what the Sunday school teacher said to heart and that very night started praying for my husband!  I prayed he would be God fearing, loving, caring, smart, etc. and over the years I started to get a little more specific..like okay this is just geeky now, but at the time I was into El Salvadorians and Jewish guys...I don't know, I guess the uber confidence and lavish lifestyles excited me..So I was like "Oh God if you can make him El Salvadorian or Jewish that would be cool!" so about 7 years later, guess what?!!  I met a guy who was not only El Salvadorian, but also half Jewish and I was like NO WAY!!! this has to be my husband!!!!  Here's the funny thing about God, he tends to play pranks on us, probably for entertainment purposes, but never the less, have you ever heard the phrase "Ever want to hear God laugh? Tell him your plans!" Hahaha...so anyway, I thought things couldn't get any better then this?! well guess what...I was right....after about 5 years of dedication and loyalty, he decided to cheat on me, because he "didn't know how to leave me?"  I guess he finally figured out how the day after Christmas, although I think he wanted to stay long enough to get his Christmas gift, which was a hand crochet blanket that I personally slaved over for a year to make for him! Anyway, I'll skip the sob story as you already heard most of what happened afterwards from my previous blogs, but I'm not going to lie, I really was devastated, I mean I gave him my heart and all I got in return was it ripped to shreds, yet he told me he loved me?  If you love someone, why would you cheat and lie?  I dunno, so anyway I cried and cried and one night I was just so tired of crying that I cried out to God once again and said, "Lord, I know you have someone out there specially made for me, but I am so tired of all these games and sorrow!!" So with tears streaming down my cheeks as I lay alone at night in bed, I asked "Lord, please show me who my husband is so that I won't be fooled again?" Please Lord, I don't want to hurt anymore, Please Lord!"  As I laid there in my tear stained pillow, I could hear a still small voice ask me, "how can I show you?"  and I said "Lord show me in my dreams so that I know for sure!!"  after a couple of more hours of crying, I finally cried myself to sleep and that night again the Lord answered my prayers:

My dream was very vivid and I still remember it as if a memory of a day I actually lived.  It started off with me walking through different rooms and every room I walked in was like a different stage in my life, all seemed okay but were kind of dark as if they were missing something.  Then once I got to the last door, I opened it and all of a sudden there was so much light as if I was outside, the sky was blue, the sun was shining and there was white everywhere.  I looked around and all I can see was smiles on a bunch of peoples faces and as I paid closer attention, I realized they were all smiling at me as I was a bride, dressed all in white and walking down the aisle.  As I got to the altar, I seen the Pastor smiling at me and as I turned to my side, the groom came up, all dressed in white as well, but his face was blurred, all that I can make out was his smile (that Lord, he sure is funny huh, he only gives you glimpses, but you have to figure it out on your own.) then all of a sudden the dream transitioned and it was if I was in a desert because I very clearly saw a cactus and as I turned to look around, there was this long driveway and at the end of it, I saw my childhood best friend coming towards me, with a huge smile on her face and I remember being so excited to see her and I stood there on what seemed like a porch and she stopped at the bottom of the steps and I was standing at the top and we were like "Oh my gosh, so glad to see you!" and all that good stuff, but then she stopped and said while still smiling "And who the heck is this?"  I turned to my side to see who she was referring to and seen another guy, this time in blue basketball shorts, a white wife beater and once again his face was blurred and all I could see was his smile once again, but this time I also heard him laugh, it was a funny kind of laugh which is why it's better told in person since I could do the sound effects, but anyway...moving on.  I turned back to my friend and was like "Oh him?  Well that's my husband (okay this is where it gets eery)...I said my husband...AR...O (you see when I said it, my voice became muffled so all I could comprehend was the middle and last part of the name)....at that very moment, I kid you not, I woke up and sat straight up in my bed and said to myself.....Who the Hell is AR....O??????!!!!!!!...........TO BE CONTINUED.........

The WORST thing you can do at a funeral

Hello my friends and welcome back to the show I call my life! Today we will be talking about the worst thing you can do at a funeral, lets introduce our first guest of the show Russhelle....( everyone applauds)...Thank you Russhelle it's nice to be here on this beautiful Spring day...Oh yes it is a beautiful Spring day, but let's cut to the chase, I believe you're here today to tell us all another story from your crazy life; is this right?....why yes it is Russhelle...it's actually a recent story that I thought everyone would have a laugh hearing...okay then; well let's hear about it: Okay it was last week on April 9th, an old family relative had just past away ( no this isn't the funny part guys, this is actually pretty sad) she was my mothers cousin and from what I learned was a very special lady! She lived the first part of her life in England and then When she was a teenager, her family moved back to California and this is where she lived until the day she died. she laughed, she cried and above all else, she loved with her whole heart..there were a lot of people there and it was only the wake..the service was beautiful and the priest announced that they will play a peaceful song to help us "meditate and heal" as the song played, everyone fell silent, some cried, others held their loved ones a little bit closer, everyone seemed so peaceful and as soon as the song ended, there at that VERY moment in the midst of the silence all you hear is....."HEY YO PHONE IS RINGIN, PICK UP YO PHONE....HEELLLOOOO....YO PHONE YEA IT'S RINGIN!!!! ( said In a comedic Dave Chappelle like voice) that's right all, the comedic part of me has a weakness towards funny ringtones and set as my notification for whenever I receive text messages is a loud mouth street hood gentleman yelling at me to pick up my phone and the absent minded person that I am, forgot to turn it off before the service started...so here I am scrambling through all the junk in my purse trying to find the darn contraption all the while it's getting louder and louder, I finally find it after what seemed like an eternity and if that wasn't enough I couldn't turn it off if my life depended on it!!! At this moment people started shaking their heads, turning around to see who could be so rude? My dad is telling me....Russ turn it off! But all you can hear out of me was... "Answer Yo phone....hello...yo phone is ringin....yea!!!!!" I'm completely red in the face now desperately attempting to turn it off with no success..so finally I gave up and ran out of that church like a bat on fire and all you hear behind me is "Yo..pick up yo phone!" In short dear friends, everyone got a little laugh out of it, but out of respect for the church, the family in mourning and anything holy...PLEASE make sure to turn off your phone before going into church!.....until next time....

The time I almost got sold to a Korean Family

Hello my friends! Thanks for all the support so far, I didn't realize my blog would be such a huge hit?! At any rate, I thought I might enchant you all with another adventure from my crazy life, but first I would like to inform you that for all intense and purposes, some characters names were changed (Don't want to get sued or anything) :P So come gather around the old campfire while I tell you the story about the time I almost got sold to a Korean family:

The day started off like any other summer day in a young adults life.  I spent the day with my then  boyfriend a.k.a my husband; we spent it at the beach, frolicking in the cool ocean and lay bathing ourselves in the warm summer sun.  I had to come home early though, because as you all remember from my last blog, I was working the graveyard shift at Starbucks and had to change and freshen up for work.

As my beloved dropped me off at home, I noticed something strange occurring in our front yard?  Upon closer observation, I noticed it was Mr. Kong, his wife and son who were sitting across from my mother and father underneath our rubber tree hiding from the heat of the sun and in deep conversation.  As I opened the gate to come into the yard, our old gate made a squeaking noise like all old rustic gates do and it was loud enough that the group in front of me turned around and looked at me.  I gave them an apologetic, but confused look and continued to walk inside my house to get ready for work.

Once inside my room, my mother came sweeping in behind me, holding her hand to her mouth trying not to laugh out loud.  I turned around startled and said "what happened?"  She started to whisper as she was afraid if she spoke too loudly the family outside might hear her and she started to explain, "do you know why they are here?", I replied "no, why?" my mother said while laughing "they want you to marry their son and as she started to attempt to imitate their accent she proceeded to say " your daughter is like a beautiful flower that is ready to blossom and you must make her understand that she must marry our son!"  now horrified, but still in disbelief I was like "whaaaaaaaattttt???!!!"  She said, "yeah and they said in return, you will get your own liquor store, a brand new BMW and they will buy you both your own house!"  She began to laugh again, I was freaked out at this point and told her "ummmm, do they not realize we are in America?" Just then my father walked in and joined the conversation "that is tradition, that is how it is suppose to be done in the old country," though he could not contain his own laughter.  Believing at this point that I might possibly have been betrothed to a 40 year old Asian virgin, I began to freak out even more and was like "HELL NO, I'M AMERICAN DANG IT!!  WHAT DID YOU GUYS TELL THEM??!!!!!  I'LL RUN AWAY AND JOIN A CONVENT RIGHT NOW I SWEAR!!"  They both started laughing hysterically, but then assured me that they made no promises for anything.  As soon as I calmed down, they began to give me the break down of what actually happened during this crazy shenanigan:

So apparently, the Kong family owned the neighborhood liquor store in which my family would regularly visit for snacks, groceries, etc. and their son who was a clerk there was I guess looking for a wife to appease his mother and at first was interested in my older sister, but they soon after found out that she was not only married, but also pregnant and so they started to set their target on me.  Looking back I really don't know how I didn't see it?  (Everytime I would go in their store, the mother would always demand that her son help me with whatever I needed. Which by the way was very embarrassing when all I wanted to do was run in, buy some pads and run home, then he moved next door to where we lived and whenever I would wash my car, he would go outside and wash his car at the same time...can you say "creeeeeeeepy)!"  Anyway, back to the story before I was rudely interrupted!...hmmmm....hmmmm....where was I? Oh yes, so my parents said they were relaxing at home, minding their own business, when all of a sudden they heard the dog barking and people yelling at the front gate (that's how we do it where I come from, we use dogs and yelling instead of doorbells and proper knocks on the door).  When they looked outside they saw the Kong family and invited them  inside for a friendly visit.  Once they all sat down though, it was a totally different story.  They began to ask about my older sister, but then my parents informed them she was already married, then they asked about me and my parents told them I was single and in college.  They began to get very interested, but told my parents that I was "too thin and needed to put some meat on my bones, if I wanted to have children."  My parents, started to get insulted, but retained their composer and continued to listen to what the Kongs had to say.  They also informed my parents that I had no choice in the matter and that I "simply have to understand that I must marry their son, no ifs or buts about it." By then I came home and was inside the house and my dad respectfully replied that "my daughter is her own person and she is the one who will decide who she will marry, we can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to."  In which case, Mr. Kong replied, "What?! you let your daughter have her own mind, that is poor parenting!!"  At this point, my father heard enough and in the kindest way possible informed Mr. Kong, "I heard what you have to say, now it's time to go...get the **$##@#@& off my property."

In closing  my dear friends, what have we learned from this story? Well apparently, I was way too thin, had a mind of my own and simply HAD to marry this Korean stranger who was twice my age!  So what did I do??  Well, I did what any sensible, logical person would have done......I married the first guy I saw to get out of it!!!  Just kidding, I did get married though and that story is even crazier than this one! But for now, I need a nap so...Until next time!

Now introducing Russhelle

Hello and welcome to my blog! If you've come to this page, it probably means one in two things: 1.) you were most likely bribed by me with false promises of sandwiches and ice tea and who knows what other crazy thing came out of my mouth, OR 2.) you were curious as to...."What the hell ever happened to Russhelle?" You know that short, squeaky voiced goofball that made rainbows and unicorns and sunshine come out of her butt on a daily basis?! Well if you said yes to any of those two choices, congratulations!!!! you found me and I graciously thank you for your support and acknowledgment of my existence!

Since I have you here, let me catch you up on what the heck is going on.  To start off, at the annoying persistence of my supportive yet ambitious husband, he "encouraged" me to start a blog.  Not for monetary reasons.....Oooooh no..no....no..hhmmhmmm....He just felt I had a lot to say for some strange reason and that people would be interested in hearing some of it...go fig??!!! So now here I am typing away trying to figure out what the heck is going on myself?!  So lets see.....if you guys really want to know what crazy shenanigans I've been up to in the past I don't know like decade, here's the short version:

I graduated high school, got cheated on and dumped (the day after Christmas no less) by the jerk of a boyfriend that all my friends and family tried to warn me about, but my young dumb heart refused to listen..so yeah...I guess you all were right :P

Then I kinda went all girls gone wild for a straight week afterwards..nothing too crazy just clubbing practically every night, got drunk for the first time (Oh man, for all you guys that ever wanted to see me drunk..BOY did you miss out....I was a hoot..at least from what I remember) then I had my first hang over and that pretty much was the end of my crazy party days (Did I mention I had to work the grave yard shift at Starbucks the next day while hung over?  I didn't..well if you ever want to give up drinking I suggest you do that..because I NEVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE THAT AGAIN!!) Oh yeah I got my first adult job as a Barista with Starbucks...I really enjoyed working there, but then it got kinda weird?!

As a Barista it opened me up to the public. If anyone who was really close to me remembers, I was kind of like Rapunzel in a tower..so at Starbucks, EVERYONE got to see me which meant I had a lot of crushes and followers and not just from guys might I add...Who would of thought huh....apparently they didn't know what to make of me so I had people hitting on me from both teams!  Then I almost got sold to a Korean family who promised to give me my own liquor store, BMW and house if I married their 40 year old son...OK I was 20 years old for goodness sake and secondly, this is AMERICA!!! But that's another story, another blog :P

Just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, this sweet guy started stalking me, he was different from my other stalkers and when he introduced himself it was almost something out of a comedy...again another blog, another time..to make this story shorter..three months later I married the nut, because well....I'm that kind of nut and when you know, you know...can I hear an AMEN!!!!

Fast forward 9 years later to this point in time, I am still VERY happily married, but I just got fired from my crappy job two months ago, at the same time, I am trying to figure out my life and hoping that someday soon we can start a family (yup no kids yet, but still "practicing"), I do have a dog named Homer who is my baby for now and boy is he a handful!!!  That's pretty much what has happened to me so far incase any of you were wondering and if you stick around and follow me....you are more than welcome to join me on my journey of this crazy adventure I call my life.  Until next time..........